“Should I let my brother borrow my new car for a road trip? #CarShare #FamilyDilemma
Wondering if it’s okay to say no to lending your new car to family? Here’s the scoop on the debate happening! Find out the pros and cons before deciding.”
Details:
- 26M bought his first car after years of saving.
- 23M brother wants to borrow it for a road trip.
- Concerns about wear and tear and potential accidents.
Opinions:
- Is it selfish to deny the request?
- Should family peace be a factor in decision making?
- Reasons to protect what you’ve worked hard for.
Nta, it’s your car, it’s up to you who gets to use it
NTA Let your parents loan him their car for a week-long guys trip and tell them to stop being generous with other people’s belongings.
NTA it’s your car lol
NTA. There is nearly NO outcome from his borrowing it that will make you glad you did – you don’t want the miles and wear and tear, plus he won’t treat it with the respect you do – to any ding, dent, stain, etc will be big for you and small to him.
Maintaining the peace is actually NOT loaning it to him. It’s the safer bet.
NTA. I would also most certainly NOT lend a recently acquired brand new car to a little brother to go have a guys road trip. Your parents can lend him a car, or rent him one, or one of his buddies can track down a car for them to use. Doesn’t have to be you.
NTA let your brother buy his own car, if he and your parents don’t like that, then let your parents loan him a car of theirs. Your car = your decision.
Of course you’re NTA. I imagine he is a spoiled brat because 1) he didn’t hesitate to ask for your new toy 2) he’s sulking and giving you the silent treatment and 3) your parents want you to give him what he wants to keep the peace. That last one is a huge pet peeve of mine.
This is a great gift, this is an opportunity to adjust your family’s expectations without doing very much really. Say no and calmly stick to it. Don’t get emotional and don’t get drawn into it. You’re not spending any money or time but they will realize going forward you won’t be pushed around. Congratulations on adulting!
>Our parents think I should let him use the car to maintain peace
Tell your brother that your parents have volunteered their car to maintain the peace.
No one has the right to tell you what to do with your personal property. If they volunteer your personal property then volunteer theirs.
NTA
Give your brother a list of car rental websites. NTA
NTA. You worked and saved for that car. Your brother can rent a car for his week long road trip, and split the cost with everyone attending. If he’s too young to rent in your city, that’s even more reason for you to say no. You are the one who will deal with any consequences.
Fuck peace. He’s 23 and can get his own car. NTA
Absolutely NTA.
You don’t even know who would be really driving among brother and friends.
The fact brother cannot accept no is enough to say firm no again because he doesn’t care and respect your car is special to you.
NTA, you aren’t a car rental company and I bet he doesn’t have the money to replace your car if he wrecks it. It’s not worth the risk.
You parents need to tell your brother to stop behaving like a toddler to “keep the peace”.
NTA. It’s your car. You pay for repairs, insurance and registration. Forget about maintaining the peace. Stand your ground. He has no right to get snippy with you about you not lending him your car. What would he do if you didn’t have that car? Whose car would he use instead? Or did the idea of a road trip occur after you got your car? Maybe your 23yo brother needs to save up for his own damn car.
So now that you worked your ass off and bought a new car you’re supposed to just hand it over to your brother for fun? He’s been making all the payments, right? Oh and covers insurance? And pays for maintenance too, right? Oh and what are YOU driving while he’s having fun on your dime?
NTA I’m sorry your relatives are dumb af. Next time your parents bring it up just laugh in their face and say, “yeah, that’s not happening,” and end the convo.
I wouldn’t let him. You bought it so you can drive it and not for someone else to enjoy it.
They will not respect nor treat the car the best as it’s not their car. They can rent one or drive one of their own cars.
NTA. My Granddad to me when I got my first car-“Boy, don’t ever loan or let anyone borrow your car. You just asking for trouble.”
And when your new car comes back with scratches, and funny new noise, and holes burned into the upholstery, are you supposed to fix it yourself “to keep the peace?”
NTA.
Does he have his own vehicle, or does he just want your shiny one? What are you supposed to do without your ride for a week? And why haven’t your parents offered up one of their cars?
How can you arrange a ‘road trip’ without a car? Then expect your brother to loan his car? NTA but he’s not the brightest bulb in the box, is he?
Maybe your brother should stop acting like a brat to keep the peace. NTA.
Hell no, if for no other reason than that you may be legally liable for any accidents, injuries, or crimes committed while your brother and his friends joyride in it.
I would’ve burst out laughing. Then looked around and would respond. “I thought you all were joking”. Because. Really wtf! No. NTA. Don’t lend out your car. To anyone. Family or friends!
NTA
You literally just got the car after years of sacrifice. He can save and save and save and buy his own car for a road trip. Why can’t he use one of your parent’s cars, or rent a car? He’s old enough to rent.
Road trip with your brother and his friends means your car will be trashed at the minimum from in the inside, possibly the outside just as you suspect. Doubt brother is on your insurance that’s a recipe for disaster that you’ll have to pay for if the car is wrecked. No way Jose.
NTA
NTA.
Your parents should be telling your brother to stop bugging you about using your car, “to keep the peace.”
Instead, your parents are telling you that your brother deserves to use your new car, that you saved for, for a
WEEK LONG ROAD TRIP FOR A BUNCH OF YOUNG GUYS!
No way on earth. Your parents can “keep the peace” by loaning him their car.
NTA Even if your car was a piece of shit hand me down, it’s yours and you don’t owe anyone the privilege of using it.
Man.
“Keep the peace” means that your parents are OK with your boundaries being trampled upon to keep the golden child from throwing a hissy fit.
NTA
NTA
The main, and only reason, to not have him drive your car: He Is Not On Your Insurance!!! Anything happens and you are screwed financially.
My son had an accident when he was like 17. It was pouring rain and the wipers couldn’t keep up. He should have pulled over.
He crossed the centerline and hit a car head on at low speed.
No ambulance but the cars were totaled.
Like 2 years later he is being sued for $1.6M. I think we had max coverage of $300k.
So that would mean I only have to pay $1.3M out of pocket.
Now imagine your brother goes on a road trip with others (more than just him). And let’s assume he is drunk and hits a car with multiple people in it.
How much money do you have? $5m? If you have $10m and your parents will pay 1/2, go for it.
Your brother should rent a car AND buy the insurance. And split the cost with his buddies.
It could be a nightmare for YOU (and just you).
**Our parents think I should let him use the car to maintain peace.**
This does not compute. Your parents are irresponsible. I hate to be the one to deliver the bad news. We do not lend cars. We don’t lend money. Broke folks can’t pay it back. Give it to them or keep it **quietly** in your pocket. We don’t loan cars. Even if we did loan cars (we don’t), we wouldn’t do it for a friend trip. They can’t afford a friend trip if they need your car.
And since they can’t afford a car of their own, if something happens to yours…guess what? Oops.
Nope. I am willing to give rides to the bus station, though. I’m not heartless.
ANY time and EVERY time somebody wants you to “keep the peace” it means “placate this person or people so I am not aggravated/inconvenienced.”
F*ck that. You know your brother and obviously have valid concerns about how the car will be treated while on the trip and in what condition it will be returned to you. And even if the reason were simply “don’t wanna”, that’s fine too.
NTA. It’s your car, an expensive depreciating asset. Treat it well.