Are you in the wrong for refusing to split the cost of your ex-girlfriend’s unused flight after breaking up? Should I pay for my own ticket without reimbursing her if she cancels the tickets? What should I do in this situation? #BreakupDrama #SplitCosts #CancelledTickets #RelationshipIssues #FriendshipGoals #CanaryIslandsTrip
INFO:
When she offered to pay for the Airbnb, minus the cost of your ticket, was she planning on covering half the cost of your ticket? Or did she expect you to eat the full price loss?
I think her plan actually makes sense. You don’t want her using her half of the airbnb and you still want your ticket.
So pay for your ticket and split the loss of her ticket. If you each paid for your own tickets and Airbnb, one of you would have to buy out the other to still use it.
Why does she have to eat the full cost of her ticket when she had the same idea to use the Airbnb? You know another one will not be as nice and be more expensive. That’s why you aren’t offering to do that yourself. If you give her the Airbnb, are you willing to just lose your half of the money on it?
This thread is starting to read like the comments section of my great aunt’s Facebook post about how “80% of college graduates get this simple math problem wrong!”
ESH, or OP is slightly more TA.
The plan was supposed to be an equal, amicable split. You each own half a vacation. But your half is transferable and hers isn’t, just because of the luck of the draw (who pre-paid for what). However you sort this out, you should be striving for that equal, amicable split.
Both of you originally intended to pay for half of what the other had put in, in order to take the whole trip. Both of you tried to leave the other with an $800 loss, whether she pays you for “the airbnb minus your ticket” or you pay her for “just your ticket.” At least her ultimate solution, to split the last $800 by having OP pay her an extra $400, actually evens things up.
Yes it’s annoying – some value was obliterated by the end of the relationship. You each lose $400 because you don’t still want to be together and travel together.
So, non-refundable doesn’t mean use it or lose it. It just means they won’t refund the money to her original source of payment. However, I almost guarantee that they will issue her a travel credit on their airline that can be applied to one or more future trips. Just tell her this so she can plan something else for another date, and you and your friend can buy your own airline tickets to use the Airbnb you booked. Simple, clean, no one loses out financially here.
Can the airline separate the tickets at this point? If so. Do that and pay her $800.
I also think a lot of “non-refundable” tickets can be used in the future. She could go a different week than you. She’s not out her $800, she just has to use it differently.
NTA – you can’t book an AirBNB for someone else (that is called a third party booking), so you have to be the one to use that accommodation. Just like she can’t use your airline ticket for someone else.
Call the airline and split your ticket from the reservation, then pay her for your ticket. She can try to get credit for her ticket (it is not a refund, but she can use it toward future travel).
What’s to say she does t cancel the tickets the instant you pay her, buy your own tickets dude. Leave her in the past
NTA. But I would check wit the airline. There is sometimes a change fee on names when non refundable. I would also suggest looking at tickets now before you make a decision. Ticket prices can fluctuate and it could be double the price now just to buy a ticket. Honestly it’s a fair point she doesn’t want to go at the same time as you. I would just pay the $1200 and be done. Cause a new ticket could be a whole lot more. I’m from the US and I have a flight booked currently to NYC in July. The flight cost me $400 6 months ago. But now that same flight is $900. Good luck.
YTA
Right now you’re only even if you both lose out and get nothing and both forfeit the trip.
She has proposed herself going on the trip without you, paying for the airbnb minus your ticket, so you’re out 800. If you go on the trip without her you will have to pay her 800 for her to release your ticket to her and she’s out 800 for her own ticket.
At this point, you’re both trying to screw each other out of 800. And neither of you wants to forfeit the trip because it’s a bigger loss.
Where you become the AH is by telling her to find an alternative accommodation, as others have pointed out this close to the trip she’s very likely to have to pay an inflated price for a lesser place to stay.
The fairest way to resolve it is either a second accommodation of similar niceness/amenity level is found and the cost difference is split between the two of you, say the new accommodation is 2100, then 2100-1600=500/2=250, you give her 250 to cover half the difference of the new accommodation.
OR the person who goes on the trip splits the loss of the person who forfeits the trip. So the person going on the trip gets a value of 1600 airbnb + 800 ticket, a total value of 2400. So whoever goes owes the person not going 1200 (800 to buy their share of ticket/accommodation in full and 400 for half the other’s remaining loss), taking the loss of the person not going down to 400. How is this fair? Well, the friend you’re bringing along with you can pay you 800 for half the airbnb, bringing the loss of the person going on the trip down to 400 as well.
And who broke up with who is irrelevant, if you know the relationship is over and you don’t want to take the ego hit of being the dumpee, you have to do the unpleasant job of being the dumper.
>She said she didn’t want to go at the same time as me
>she even threatened to cancel the tickets even though she can’t get any money back
>She said, “I’m not gonna talk to you if you’re being a dick
It sounds like she tried to get the ticket off you for 800 but wants you to get it off her for 1200 and now she isn’t getting her own way, she is being immature while accusing you of being immature… NTA
So why does your friend not buy her ticket from her? Alternatively, if she uses the trip, her friend can repay her for your ticket and she can pay you for the AirBnB. I don’t understand the problem. What am I missing?
NTA and I think she is being the immature one threatening to cancel the tickets. Now that she has thrown that out she might even make you pay her for your ticket and cancel it anyways to spite you. Being friends with exes is not worth it, I would just buy new tickets and move on.
How about you change the name on the ticket, there is usually a fee for that. Your friend can then pay her the rest of the ticket price and you can pay her for your ticket.
I don’t buy that your losses should be equal (with you having the holiday as well), but I also don’t buy that only she should take all the loss. I also don’t think it’s fair that you fixate on her having ended it when you opened with you both knowing it wasn’t going well. However, I also don’t know what you should do!
Just buy your own ticket
She was willing to make you eat the cost of your plane ticket. If her offer had been to cover half the cost of your ticket her request for you to pay half the cost of hers would make sense. Who broke up with her and who initiated doesn’t matter in this case and that’s kind of AH to try to make that kind of comparison.
That said, if you can use the plane ticket then it’s right to reimburse her for it. Normally I would say he request for half of her ticket so you both share the loss would be appropriate but she didn’t offer that to you when she thought she was using the accommodations and her ticket so I don’t believe that level of sharing loss applies.
If you want the moral high ground, pay for your ticket to her and just buy new ones. Then you both lost on the tickets. If you want to be able to use the ticket though, you’ll probably need to pay half of hers.
Edit to add judgement: NTA
Is it not cheaper to transfer her ticket to your freind’s name by buying the ticket off her and she pays the transfer fee? You need to buy one anyway for your freind.
NTA
Is this a basic economy ticket where you can’t even pay a change fee to switch days? I know it’s nonrefundable, but most tickets can at least have the dates changed.
Also, call the airline and separate your ticket from the reservation, then put a password on your new booking record. Then send her the money for your ticket. She’s the one choosing not to book her own accommodations and still go on the trip. If you’re the asshole for wanting to keep your ticket and the airbnb booking, then so is she for wanting to do the same.
NTA. She is the unreasonable one in this situation. There is no such “share the loss.”There is no world in which she is owed half of her ticket. Sounds life she want you to contribute to rebooking fee and new AirBnB.
I would call the airline to see if she can cancel the ticket. If she can, I would rebook my ticket and not pay her anything. There is no way that I would put myself in a position to pay her and have her cancel my ticket.
Her demands and attitude are unreasonable. Each of you paid $1600 so there is no loss. She’s mad that she couldn’t get a nice AirBnB and wants you to pay. NOTICE SHE IS NOT OFFERING TO PAY FOR HER HALF OF THE HOUSE.
If you paid 1600 for the BNB and she paid 1600 (2×800) for the tickets you are even.
You both separately wanted to “use” the trip bringing someone else, and since you control the AirBnB, you beat her to it, meaning she’d have to scramble for a new accommodation. She’s right – her options are limited now. Why is it fair that YOU get the AirBnB? Because you happen to control that part of the trip? Does it really even it up if she does as you suggest and find another place? And if she did find a new AirBnB (presumably less desirable and/or more expensive) would you compensate her for the difference? After all, you dictated that the “fair” solution was each of you to do the trip meaning she had to find a new place. You could play the “fair” game round and round on this one.
Bringing up that she broke up with you was irrelevant and signals you’re not really thinking objectively about this. Her proposal that you share the loss on this sounds objectively fair. She’d have done what you did (ie, use the plane ticket and the AirBnB w/ another friend) but didn’t have the opportunity. Then you’d be looking for a new AirBnB and probably come to the same conclusion she did – not worth it. YTA
NTA
The cost of the Airbnb was $1600. The cost of the flights was $800 each, $1600 total. If either you or your Ex wants to go on the trip, they should be out $800 for their flight plus $1600 for the accomodations. Your Ex wants to just pay you $800 for the accomodations on top of her $800 for her flight, leaving you to eat the entire cost of your flight. That isn’t fair.
It would be risky, at this point, to allow your Ex to stay in the Airbnb booked in your name. If she caused damage, you could be held responsible.
Your Ex can book her own accomodations at whatever the cost is and use her flight tickets. It’s not your problem.
And if she won’t transfer your ticket to you (for which you should pay her), she can eat the cost of that and you can book your own flights.
It should be obvious that you aren’t going to remain “friends”.
jfc pay for your ticket and let your friend buy hers, it doesn’t have to be so complicated
If she offered $800, it’s fair to pay her the same. She didn’t offer the $1200. It does suck though, I don’t blame her for asking. Her deciding to break up has no bearing in my mind, since breakups are good for both parties. And it does suck that you get the whole vacation without losing any money while she loses the full $800, just because of how you decided to split costs. In short, I don’t think you are an asshole if you don’t pay her $1200, but I DO think it would be kinder and more respectful if you did.
NTA-at this point, do not engage her about this trip again. You already said the original agreement was she buy the tix and you do the airbnb so she can’t come at you for repayment because the original agreement was not breeched. Let her keep the ticket and simply buy you & your friend your own. You may even find a better deal on tickets the closer to your trip. I have a friend who retired (executive position at an airport) and he goes on a website that he says gives the best prices and comparisons (airfarewatchdog). Go and have fun.
I don’t understand any reason you would pay half her ticket. Like, I don’t understand what her logic is in that scenario?
Did she have an actual answer as to why she feels like you should half her ticket?
NTA I think your reasoning here is quite sound. I understand why she would be frustrated about this though, but breaking up with someone long term when you have future plans together is going to cause some frustration and collateral damage. I’d hold firm that you are going on the trip, she can cancel the tickets if she wants and you will get your own, or if she does not cancel them, you will pay her for your ticket. And let the rest be. Its none of your business what she decides to do with her ticket.
Just to be clear she threatened to cancel the tickets, you told her to go through with it and then calls you immature for calling her bluff? I would have broken up with her too.
As for AH.. eh not really cause bad break ups make everyone looked bad. Her more so than you though in this instance.