#MentalHealth #SelfImprovement #CareerStruggles
Feeling lost and overwhelmed at 32 😞
If you can relate to the above statement, you’re definitely not alone. Many people in their early thirties find themselves in a similar situation, struggling to find direction and purpose in their lives. It’s completely normal to feel lost and unsure of what your next steps should be, especially after dealing with mental health issues and a lack of clear career progression.
But fear not! There are ways to navigate through this challenging time and come out on the other side feeling more confident and sure of yourself. Let’s address the concerns and explore some potential solutions to help you find your way. Here are some tips to consider:
Understanding Your Mental Health Challenges
Dealing with bipolar type 2, ADHD, and OCD/anxiety can make it difficult to feel stable and focused, especially when it comes to making important life decisions. It’s important to prioritize your mental health and seek ongoing support from healthcare professionals.
Exploring Career Options
Feeling stuck in entry-level jobs can be disheartening, especially if you have a degree that you’re not currently utilizing. Consider exploring different career options that align with your interests and skills. Here are a few potential paths to consider:
– Grad school: Furthering your education could open up new career opportunities and provide a sense of direction.
– Trade school: Pursuing a career in a skilled trade could lead to stable employment and financial security.
– Certifications: Obtaining industry-specific certifications can improve your job prospects and potentially lead to higher-paying positions.
Overcoming Fear of Change
It’s completely normal to feel apprehensive about making significant changes in your life, especially when it comes to furthering your education or pursuing a new career path. However, it’s important to challenge yourself and step outside of your comfort zone in order to grow and evolve. Don’t be afraid to seek guidance from career counselors or mentors who can provide valuable insight and support.
Seeking Therapy and Support
Continuing therapy and seeking support from a professional can be incredibly beneficial during this challenging time. Addressing feelings of depression, demotivation, and suicidal thoughts is crucial for your mental well-being. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and lean on others for support.
Embracing Personal Growth
It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and there’s no set timeline for achieving success or finding your purpose. Embrace the idea of personal growth and recognize that it’s never too late to make positive changes in your life. Focus on small, achievable goals and celebrate your progress along the way.
In conclusion, feeling lost and uncertain about your future at 32 is a common experience, and it’s okay to seek guidance and support as you navigate through this challenging time. Remember that your mental health should be a top priority, and it’s important to explore different career paths that align with your interests and goals. Embrace the opportunity for personal growth and seek out the support you need to move forward with confidence. You’re not alone, and there are resources available to help you find your way. Keep pushing forward, and remember that it’s never too late to create a life that brings you fulfillment and joy.
If I had the time and means, I would fly you to southeast Asia and force you to get a service job at a coffee shop, bar, restaurant, whatever.
You sound like you need a complete hard reboot. That’s not a criticism – by the way. By your own admission you feel like your growth was stifled by being in your comfort zone for too long.
Why not fuck off to a developing country and have some adventures? Life is LOOONG. You have 50 more years to sort out the boring bits.
Definitely not just you! 29 here, about to be 30, and in a very similar situation but with no degree. Living at home currently. There is hope! I recently got out of a relationship with a beautiful girl who didn’t care at all that I lived at home, she lived at home with her family as well and that has nothing to do with any of the problems that came up in our relationship. I also have a bunch of random skills that don’t amount to much, and I don’t even have a degree! I am hopeful, however, because I have trade skills and I’ve realized trade people are awesome. Don’t listen to all the online hate about what it’s like to be a tradie – it’s not the easy route for sure but it’s not as body and life destroying as people make it out to be. I currently do part time labor unlicensed, just handyman work and yard work and charge $25 an hour and I think I’m undercharging, I also do guide work but that pays shit I just like it. What I’m trying to say is don’t be afraid to go try a trade. Working outside is awesome, power tools are fun, and being in a more… uh… “open” social environment can actually be really freeing once you find your people.
Hey OP, how about all three?
Therapy will help. These things unfurl slowly over time, planning our lives and taking the steps to move towards goals. Figuring out the big “what am I going to do” fresh out of hospital and stabilizing is a hard spot to be in because not only are you dealing with emotional issues but there’s also so much external stigma and judgement about mental health/age/occupation/residency. In American culture, we define ourselves by what we do. It’s conditioned into us that our lives are somehow supposed to revolve around pursuit, accomplishment, milestones. But here’s the thing: you’re a fucking human being man.
You’re a human being who has gone through some heavy shit to get you to a point where you had to go to treatment and where you do have mental health disorders that are challenging to move through the world with.
No one gives credit to the downtrodden or the people fighting just to heal because all we see around are success stories. We never see the blood sweat and tears people go through to bloom in any part of their lives and that’s the shit that matters most.
It is okay to be undecided, untethered, unknowing. In fact, one cannot know their path or truth until they genuinely accept and settle in where they’re at. And even in that it takes courage.
So I say – take things as baby steps. Yeah, you live with the rents and you’re thirty two but you know what? There is a massive demographic of people like us. Would you call me or someone else who’s been through shit and trying to figure life out a loser to their face or would you hold them up and say you can fucking do this.
I think you can. You care, otherwise you wouldn’t be going to therapy or writing a post about how you feel. Everything you’re going through right now is exactly where you should be. 32 is young. And I don’t think we know our potential for trajectory until it happens.
Grad school and a full time job are a helluva lot to take on. What about during the time you’re healing, you stick with what you have and explore yourself by trying out smaller things like certifications? Trade school sounds like a wonderful idea. I know many people who feel grounded in the work they do, satisfaction in their incomes, and who live well rounded lives working in trades.
Who cares!! Who cares. You have to live like the people who you think are judging you don’t deserve to sit at your table because they didn’t cook for you, clean, make your money, attend therapy, clothe you, bathe you, love you. You’re going to build all of those skills and strengths on your own. Thats what matters. Self sufficiency and damn good support.
You fucking got this. Spending your time worrying is hard and natural because you care but do not confuse it with being deficient. The greatest people worry. It is a gift to bloom late. No one goes through life without falling in pits and needing to climb out regardless if they got married at 20 had a career by 23. We do not know the lives of others.
Build yourself. <3 you got this.
Honestly dude no one has it figured out I’m 33 and I just got hired as a security guard out the blue while job searching , I didn’t finish college, kinda wanna go back, I still live in my hometown , I only talk to my mom … not sure why you feel like you’re the only one ? That’s probably what stresses you out I’ll be 34 in a month I’m older than you and I don’t have it together either . Take the weight off your shoulder .
But to me based off your story you should go to grad , maybe stay on campus and get out the parents house and be around other people in school, you can join clubs, find a female with common interest and be more social . Ignore your age and live. Then maybe you’ll get a cool as internship that’ll prepare you for you’re career and you can add it on your resume as experience . Get out the nest bud
Im in kind of a similar situation though a bit younger but no degree. I don’t think you’re fucked, I think you’ll be alright sounds like you just really need to come out of your comfort zone – both of us do
32 years old. I was a heroin addict homeless shooting up dirty cottons from 19-26. Fentanyl, crack, everything. Lost my mind. I am now a biochemist working for big pharma, soberish. Atleast off the good stuff (not good if you do it too much). Anything is possible.
breaking down big goals into smaller, manageable steps will make them feel less overwhelming. for example, if going to grad school feels like too big of a step, try researching different programs or attending information sessions. also celebrate each small accomplishment along the way.
Write your options down. Calm down. Take little bites.
Choose something related to your talents and long-term interests. If you don’t know them, talk to a career counselor and take a good aptitude test. Investing in real skills is always a good move.
It might be school or a different job. No matter. You’re young.
Biggest thing you can do for yourself is take deep breaths and stop stressing. It’s not helping you think clearly.
I don’t agree with a year to go mess around, teach English, etc., unless you’ve been thinking of doing that for a while. In a year you’re back in the same place.
Know thyself. It’s the key to finding your place in the world.
going to graduate school completely changed the direction/course of my life. It helped me figure out what the FUCK I actually wanted to do. It was hard…but 100% worth it.
Honestly, I’d kill to be in your position. To have a degree AND live with parents?
Mannnnn, I’d be all over that.
I live on my own, barely scrape by, can’t get a degree due needing to work to keep up, it’s intense.
Here’s the main message, you got a good thing going.
Sex with women can wait, trust me, all of that outside bs of “if you live with your parents you can’t date” is just stigma.
But it is important to understand why it would be a stigma and how to transform it to your advantage.
Most women don’t want to train another 30+ year old man to clean up after him self, to cook for him self, to do basic chores without being asked, etc etc etc.
Take this time while with your folks to take the bulk of chores, trust me if you can keep a house tidy it won’t matter how much you make or what you look like.
Fully functional adults don’t want to come home to a house that looks like a 16 year old lives there.
I really push chores due to the economy being horrible for everyone, it’s not even a cop out nowadays to blame it. I know dozens of folks who have insane credentials being unable to get a job.
For now you focus on what you can control, and learn that most of adulting is just dealing with it. I wish there was a silver bullet to make things go away but no one gets what they want.
Be greatful for what you have, take on challenges at a steady and safe pace.
Examples could be going to a gym and just walking around, not even working out. Just going to walk, take these small steps and you’ll see how much small adjustments will change your life and well being.
I want to drive this point home, the screwed up state of the country can make it difficult to feel like you can move up, but you need to focus on the day to day. Clean up your garbage and that’s the big accomplishment. Go to an interview, that’s a big accomplishment.
Not laying in bed all day and going for a walk, you got it, big accomplishment.
Be realistic and fair with your self.
(Hint realistic is not a excuse to be a cynical ass hat to your self)
I’m almost twice that age and starting over. I’m reinventing myself at this age with a TBI brain injury, cPTSD freeze, depression, etc. All I can say is dig deep and pray. I’m taking a risk making big changes out of my comfort zone but nothing ventured nothing gained. At least I will have tried. I’m not money oriented so that has helped. I have a big conversion van as backup if I need a space to live. I can live on very low amount of money if needed.
Look into investing in some nootropics m8.
Im 26 and resonate a lot with this post and all the comments. I still live with the parents. Basically zero relationship experience. I started up grad school last year and have my doubts about it all but I’m trying to push through despite. I still often feel like I really don’t know who i am, and that I’m always trying to become someone I am not.
If you are into art, animation, or game Dev, there are free resources for you to learn.
Those are supposed to be “unrealistic” dream jobs that are bound to fail.
I already failed when I started this stuff and now I am doing a lot of stuff that I never imagined.
You don’t have to quit everything and pursue this. It can just be a side project until it’s not.
The hardest part is getting into it. Then once you pierce the veil, it’s a whole universe of free content and community to assist you.
Nobody knows what they’re doing. Adversity can build resilience. You are not the sum of your mental health problems or perceived missteps in life. Taking care of mental health is important and it sounds like you’re doing that. It sounds like you have some ideas for how to make more than minimum wage eventually that you could probably pursue. How’s the rest of your life doing – do you have any hobbies or a social life? What kind of lifestyle do you want? Then ask yourself what kind of work might fit into that lifestyle. We all need to survive and make money, but work isn’t everything.
Self talk matters. Give yourself love and grace. No one has it all right. You will question what you’re doing the rest of your life. That’s human. Many people re invent themselves a few times. It’s your mind and world.
Op, respectfully, get it together. I’m worried about you. I’ve been the same way a few years now and it is NOT sustainable. Do something. Get it together.
You’re time is not getting thing you have more of your work life ahead of you than you have behind you, like maybe 75%?
Do you hate your life or do you maybe hate what other people think of your life? You have to toss out what you think is “right” or “normal” or “expected” and figure out what YOU want to do and how to do it. It’s your life. It doesn’t matter what other people think about living with your parents, if it works for you and it’s what you need to do to get ahead financially, then you do it. Those other people have no stake in your game, they’ve got their own situations to worry about.
For someone with all your issues, you sound really hard on yourself. You’re a late bloomer, accept that and move on. You didn’t figure out at a young age what you wanted to do …accept that and move on, it’s not something you can change now, so why let the thoughts of that bog you down?
You don’t have experience in the things you’re passionate about. That, you can change so set it as a goal. You want to make more money and may have to jump through some hoops to do it. That you can work on, so get started.
“Why can’t I figure out what I want to do?”. There are a lot of people in that same situation, and most of them with fewer mental issues than you have to deal with. Of course get back to therapy, it may help you figure things out and there is no real downside to trying…unless a therapy session makes you feel worse instead of better.
How’s your diet and how’s your sleep? Pay attention to both of them as they’re extremely important to both physical and mental health. And one thing I would do is, before bed each night, take a note pad or a private blog section on your laptop or whatever, and review your day. What you did right, what you thought you got wrong, what you want to do tomorrow. As an example, say you had a riff with your boss today. Note that, and make a note to yourself that you’re going to talk to him to clear things up tomorrow morning. At that point, you’ve got one thing behind you . One thing off your mind. You have way too much on your mind to be able to think straight and plan ahead. Very common with people in your situation but not something that you can’t learn to handle a little better. Get some things off your plate every day. Off your mind. Don’t go to be thinking “damn I ate nothing but junk food today”. Go to bed after noting “tomorrow I’m going to eat oatmeal and a banana for breakfast and chicken with a salad for dinner”. Get the little stuff out of your mind so that you can make some room to deal with the more pressing issues in your life. Get a handle on it. Relationships with women are on the back burner for now because you got to get your own shit together, right? You can’t complicated your life right now with a 2nd person’s problems and issues. Just take care of #1 in 2024. Don’t worry what your parents think of what you’re doing, of what other people think, or what your future wife is going to think. I’m sure it’s going to be very hard to do because of everything you are dealing with, but for now take it one day at a time one decision at a time. And then learn how to leave that day and that decision behind you. You’re overwhelmed but you don’t have to be, you just have to learn how to organize and handle your thoughts and ideas. Like grad school, you set aside one night next week to sit down with yourself and list all the pros and cons of going to grad school. You tell yourself that you have one issue you’re going to deal with tonight and that’s grad school. At the end of your research, your thought session, your notes of the pros and cons, you’ll decide whether grad school is an option for you one day, or if it’s off the table. If it’s off the table, then you leave it there in the “done” pile and you tell yourself that you’re not dealing with that issue anymore. Or at the end of the night if you think it might be a good idea, you list it on your “possible options” page instead, and keep an open mind about it. At the end of a month or two, you will have tossed some of your future options out and you have to tell yourself to let them go. They’ll be right there, on your “not a good option page” if you ever want to revisit the idea, so they’re not dead, you’ve just told yourself that for now, you’re moving on to something else.
I guess in a nutshell I’m saying that I think you need to learn to handle one thing at a time and I hope that will make things easier for you. You’ve let it all pile up and come to a head and that’s not good even for a person in fine mental health. Life is not supposed to be easy or fair, it’s hard. Every day for most of us. But don’t make it harder by getting down on yourself or asking too much of yourself. You have a job, good benefits, a place to live. If it never gets any better than that…well…you’ll survive. Whats gonna keep you going is believing that things are gonna get better one day and by not believing that they’re just going to get worse. You don’t have to make a final decision about the rest of your life today. Or tomorrow or next month. Just take a deep breath and start with step 1.
Not knowing one’s path is common and doesn’t make you a bad person or a loser. You are not the only person out there who doesn’t have it all figured out. You aren’t alone.
Compare yourself to people with bigger problems, not less. Are you really doing that bad when you look at the world as a whole? You have food, shelter, a loving family.
The universe gives us all unlimited chances at happiness, dont look back when you can choose great things now. What’s great, you ask? How about a day of zero negative self talk.
If you’ve hit a wall in your efforts, admit it and go around the wall. That means accepting what’s not working, making a plan to address, work the plan, and use the rest of the time, taking care of yourself and helping others.
If you can find a way to help others, you’d actually be helping yourself! For one thing, you would get your mind off yourself and your own problems, and that’s a nice break in my book.
You’ll look back one day and realize you were hard on yourself for no reason. It all turned out, you found your tribe, your purpose, and that your story wasn’t over and still have plenty of blank pages left to fill. Some chapters will suck and some will f’ing kick ass. You’ll see bro keep swinging
I’m 37f, in the exact same boat. Not really sure how to proceed, which just feels like the theme of my whole life at this point. I just started seeing my therapist again yesterday… I spend a lot of each day pondering on why my life is this way, how I can change, how much is societal.. but today I’m feeling like, being fluffed up as a kid has contributed a lot to creating false expectations I carry into adulthood about what life should be and what amount of success I’m entitled to, etc. Like, not everyone “rises up and glows up and lives their best hottest richest life”. That doesn’t mean we should give up and move to the streets and take up crack smoking, but like someone has to cook burgers and pasta for the local towns people and live in their mom’s basement, right?😬