#NewInNYC: Feeling lost in the big city and at work 🏙️ Have you ever found yourself in a networking dilemma at a new job? Let me tell you, it’s no walk in Central Park 🌳 I’ve been trying to connect with others in my company virtually, but it’s been tough breaking out of my department bubble. And now, I’ve unintentionally rubbed my manager the wrong way by reaching out to someone higher up without their approval. 😬 Now I’m stuck in an awkward situation and I need some advice! What should I do? Any tips or tricks to share? Let’s chat! #NetworkingNightmare #HelpNeeded 👀🤔
If it were up to me, I would reply to the email and include the following:
• Respond with enthusiasm for the addition of your manager to the meeting
• Compliment the higher up for their good idea of looping manager in
• Address your manager directly in the email saying something to the effect of thank you for making time to help me understand the company better.
This should set the stage for a purely casual, not hostile, understanding/information gathering meeting.
Talk about whatever you were going to talk about to begin with! Open the meeting with thanks to both of them for carving out time to help you better understand the company, the work culture, and the industry. Any questions you ask higher up make sure you also ask manager the same thing. Being curious, asking how your company and industry work is very hard to police. Even if your direct manager is upset, higher up should see all you are trying to do is learn and become a better employee.
Good luck!
How long have you been there?
What level is your role?
Have you considered your boss is unhappy with your performance, as you probably need to be producing and not ducking away for all these “networking” sessions?
How much higher up is this person you scheduled the meeting with?
Did you clearly explain what your invite was for?
Did you consider if it was appropriate use of their time?
Did you ask the person who recommended them to give you an intro before just dropping meetings on their books?
What are your issues with this physiological safety concern? It sounds 100% like you want to either complain about your manager or jump to another team when you add things like that, yet you say it’s for a “casual chat.”
@starwyo My role job is low level
Yes my boss could be unhappy with my performance but it’s opinion based too new. Only 4weeks
The invite was created from someone else advising me to reach out to them just to learn about their process
It’s appropriate use of their time as a leader they should be open to touch base with other employees specially new ones that want to learn.
I should of asked for an introduction from the person who recommended them
It is a casual chat but I can’t be myself around my boss. They are jaded burnt out and not friendly they have openly said they hate making new connections and meeting people they just like to do their job and go home. I get anxiety being around them and showing my passion for my job because they judge me and feel I am too optimistic so it makes me reclusive and unable to be myself and share amazing projects I’ve worked on or just be excited to meet new people.
If you don’t feel safe talking to someone in the same company in front of your boss, then you should stop trying to set meetings with people in the company.
You don’t have to *like* that your boss is holding back your networking efforts but you also can’t change the dynamics.
Also, it’s worth noting that you’re getting feedback from both your direct manager and this higher up that you should involve the manager. That may be a sign that your networking strategy doesn’t align with the company’s culture and unspoken policies.
How new are you? If you’re using company time for this, it’s probably time to cut that back and focus on your work. Your boss is likely getting the impression that you’re just there to socialize or use the role as a stepping stone out of there. I’d focus on getting to know the people you work with directly.