ย #HandshakeEtiquette #HRProfessionals #SocialSkills #Networking
Hey fellow HR pros! ๐ Let’s talk about the age-old tradition of handshakes.
Do you ever find yourself analyzing someone’s handshake and letting it affect your perception of them? I know I do. But I can’t help but wonder – are handshakes really that important in the grand scheme of things? ๐ค
Here are some thoughts running through my head:
– Are handshakes necessary for making a good first impression?
– How do cultural and generational differences play a role in handshake quality?
– Can someone improve their handshake skills if they’re lacking?
As someone who works in tech and interacts with people both virtually and in-person, I’m curious to hear your take on handshake etiquette and competency. Am I putting too much emphasis on something as simple as a handshake? Or is it a valid aspect of assessing someone’s social skills?
Let’s share our thoughts and possibly learn some tips on how to improve handshake interactions in the workplace. Can’t wait to hear from you all! ๐ฌ๐ค
I havenโt shaken a single hand post COVID. I think society has changed and touching strangerโs filthy unwashed body parts are a thing of the past
A new hire, older male, wanted to shake hands yesterday. I was so shocked because I can’t remember the last time someone did that. He also had personal space issues. LOL
Since covid, I don’t stand next to people. I keep stuff in both hands and stand a little distance away. It hasn’t been a problem in 4 years.
omg i was thinking of this too. I joined the talent team at a primarily remote workplace and people go into the office 1x a week if needed. I met a new hire in the kitchen and extended my hand just as a ‘hey how are you?’ and this new hire seemed kind of flustered that i did so. my head instantly went spinning, asking myself the same questions. I’m a millennial, i didnt think handshakes were considered ‘off’ or outdated / too formal. this company did a kind of off onboarding process / didnt intro me to many people so when i see them in the office i introduce myself but i guess ill stop doing handshakes now.
Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of handshake greetings or any greeting that requires touching strangers. Physical touch isn’t mandatory for proper introduction. That’s just me personally though.
Prbly depends on the person/industry.
I just wait to see if they extend their hand first. Male or female.
Hate them. Always have, always will.
I once got negative feedback about my handshake during a capstone project in school and it has haunted me ever since.
The entire concept of handshakes has always been weird to me. Why do we need to touch to greet each other?? I will shake a hand extended to me, but I don’t extend my hand for shakes. And I’m washing or using antibacterial afterwards because people are gross.
Side rant: I will never fly without a mask again. Not having to smell the people’s breath and body odor that I’m crammed into a tube with is covid’s greatest gift.
I am pretty sure I’m somewhere on the spectrum, and to look someone in the eyes literally hurts for me; I force myself most of the times. To compensate that I have such a firm grip when handshaking hahahaha (learned it from a American missionary that almost broke my fingers). Hate touching people, but can’t stand a limp hand shake as well.
Handshakes, eye contact all important. Unless you prefer to be dominated all the time and prefer to avoid any chance of confrontation / prefer weakness.
Handshakes are a cultural exchange. If you find that they sway your decision or cause intrinsic bias because of your own experiences with the custom, Iโd avoid them altogether as a measure of safety in your personal biases.
I just had the worst handshake of my life (he dead fished me, I grabbed the inside of his hand by accident because of the weird hand placement) so Iโm very anti them. itโs odd to want to touch hands post covid to me anyway, it was just recommended we do it by higher ups in our company. After today I think Iโm done lol no one younger than me (younger end of millennial) ever seems to know how to
I canโt stand them and avoid them at all costs. Theyโre just not necessary. I also donโt want a hug. Donโt touch me.
I’m less inclined to do it after this pandemic. Why couldn’t people just wash their hands ๐
Time to do away with them. I worked in corporate and saw many dudes take a shit and not wash their hands, and then go shake a bunch of peopleโs hands. Disgusting and totally unnecessary
It’s caused strange looks, and lost the respect of people whose respect was not a priority of mine, but I always place my hands over my chest (palm on the chest), and say “I apologize for the inconvenience, but I do not shake hands. It’s a privilege to make your acquaintance, however.”
It hasn’t really hindered my career in ways I’ve noticed or cared about. Others’ mileage may vary.
I donโt like them, I never initiate them, why do we have to touch?
Handshakes in general when introducing yourself to someone: fine.
Handshakes to judge whether someone would be a good fit to the company: dated.
I look to see if theyโre around my generation (54) and Iโll be confident extending a hand.
If theyโre younger, or have a tat or piercing or any indication of hyper attraction sensitivities, Iโll slyly keep my hand out, but not extended, and Iโll say, โhow about an elbow bumpโ and that gets a smile and compliance and we are on to business.
Itโs 2024.. post pandemic.. who is even shaking hands anymore!!
Stop judging people.. you have too much time on your hand that a mere handshake ruins your mental peace!
Stop offering your hand to shake with them.. people who are not comfortable shaking hands with you give you a limp shake so as to not disrespect your disgusting offer of a handshake in the name of being professionally courteous!!
people can be timid, germaphobes or just plain uncomfortable touching a strange person!! Handshakes are nasty!! I donโt know where your hands have been..
Have you seen queen Elizabeth shake hands?? Always with gloves on and barely giving her fingers. She literally never wore the same gloves again!! Why do you think that is? And she was the QUEEN!!
As a female in HR, I do the handshake every time. A firm strong handshake. Iโve had men extend first and squish my hand and I donโt let that happen anymore, I beat them to it.
If someone extends a hand in a situation that doesn’t work for me, I just respond by putting out a fist which everyone so far has responded to with a reciprocated fist bump. I’ve also done the both hands up, palms out, “I’m sure I just have allergies this time of year, but to be safe…” and don’t even finish the sentence.
I’ll share my handshake story.
I was a fresh college grad and was looking for work in HR. A recruiter reached and got me an interview with this manufacturing plant. I meet with the recruiter who coaches me for like 5 minutes and then tells me to go to the interview 20 minutes away.
It’s the middle of summer, it’s hot in Socal and I was nervous. A bad combination when it comes to a candidate. The interview takes 30 minutes and goes pretty well. I get up to shake the hands of the interviewers, when the lady says” wow your hand is really really sweaty”….. I apologize as I was nervous…..the other interviewer says no handshake and gives me a pat on the shoulder as I walk out….
And that’s how I knew I didn’t get the job lol
Iโm in my mid-20s and only shake hands if the other person extends their hand first, I graduated from college and entered the workforce in 2020 when no one was shaking hands, so I think I just never picked up the habit or got comfortable doing it
Its a dying art. A simple gesture.. hope it lives forever. Team handshake
I was so confused for a second and was thinking about the website for employers to post their jobs for college students ๐๐
A good handshake demonstrates confidence and is culturally important – but I donโt think itโs the only factor by any standard
What do I think? I think you sound like a boomer who needs DEIB training.
Millions of people have died from a highly transmittable infection which is still pervasive today, and separately there has been an increase in adult-diagnosed neurodiversity.
Handshakes have become old school on top of a health risk.
And advocating physical touch as a norm despite these cultural shifts while also admitting bias against those who donโt โperform to standardsโ is more than an โunconscious biasโ itโs full on โkids these days!?! Amiright?!?โ behavior.
Hate touching someone’s dirty hands and can’t wait it to be over so that might be one of the reasons and not that they are a sloppy W2 worker.
Iโm a female millennial Iโll reach out for a hand shake IF the people are older than me. Younger than me Iโll wait if they extend a hand.
In recent times I have had fellow HR professionals and career counselors talk about hand shakes and so the gist I have started following is this.
If youโre a male donโt reach for a handshake first if you are talking with a woman. Wait for her to extend first as this is more appropriate and safer for you in the days after Me Too.
If you are female you should out reach a hand first and be confident when shaking a males hand. Donโt do the more feminine shake of a palm more facing downwards than side ways especially if you are in an interview.
And lastly the age basis try to read the room not all younger people follow this custom. If you are in an interview setting and If you are older and the interviewer typically offering a hand first is harmless. People generally wonโt leave you hanging there. But if you are older and are the interviewee wait to see if they offer their hand.
I think it depends. If the candidate is going for a sales, marketing or managerial position, I would expect a good firm handshake. That’s just part of those professions and their interactions with others. If IT or other STEM-related fields, then a weak handshake is no big deal. As for myself, some people are surprised when I give a firm handshake. I’m not a huge guy, so it sometimes comes as a surprise. LOL.
I use to be much more of a โhandshakerโ in a professional setting. But during the pandemic I got away from it for obvious reasons. I noticed once I stopped shaking hands with people how weird it felt, but tried to understand why. For me, I realized shaking hands is more of a societal norm that we have here in the US and it doesnโt reflect on me or the other person. Itโs just how we have been trained to respond in social settings. Now I just smile and give a greeting. If someone reaches out to shake my hand, Iโll do it back, but I rarely initiate.
I’m pretty indifferent to them. I work remotely, so they are largely a thing of the past. Now when I meet colleagues, even for the first time, it’s often a hug because we’ve been working together so long without actually meeting in person. I’m from Canada and worked with a lot of people in Quebec, so greeting colleagues is a kiss on the cheek there. I’ll let them initiate it since I’m an Anglophone (though I understand French fluently and speak it with some practice).
I do expect it in an in-person interview or more formal situation. I’m not a touchy-feely person, so I get it if other’s aren’t as well. But it is a norm. If someone doesn’t follow one or two norms, it’s probably not going to make or break an interview. But if you start piling them on, it’ll add up to something.
I gave up handshakes a year ago. COVID made me realise how much I dislike it, and I didn’t enjoy the return to norms, so I simply started to tell people, “I don’t shake hands; it’s not personal”.
Only two people have questioned me one this (one was my father, but he’s in his 80s and really doing his best [he’s realised that’s he’s probably ND, since my sons and I got diagnosed]). And it’s noticeable how many people don’t actually offer to shake your hand if you don’t do it first.
Yeah, the dead fish hand is a big negative in my book. Good firm grip, couple of shakes and done. It also irks the hell out of me when someone shakes and wonโt let go for too long. Creeps me the hell out.
I personally do not judge based on handshake. I don’t think it has any merit in someone’s work ethic/ability to do the job. The only way I could see it being important is maybe sales. Only because there are also a lot of other people out there that care about that. However, in my industry we do not have sales so most of the time when I am doing an interview I wait for them to initiate because some people are uncomfortable with handshakes post-covid.
On the flip side, because I know this is how some people think, when I am initiating the handshake, I go in hard. I (a young female HR) only intend to make the other person feel as though they just shook the hand of a tall, strong man. If they don’t walk away thinking damn that’s a firm handshake, I didn’t do my job. If they don’t care about handshakes, it won’t matter either way. If they do, bonus points.