🎁 Wondering how to handle an ungrateful reaction when you forget to wrap your girlfriend’s birthday presents? 🤔 #birthdaygifts #ungrateful #relationshipadvice
The Situation
Have you ever been in a situation where you forgot to wrap your girlfriend’s birthday presents and she reacted ungratefully? It happens to the best of us, but it can certainly put a damper on a special occasion. Here’s how to navigate this tricky situation with grace and understanding.
Communicate with Empathy
Try to put yourself in your girlfriend’s shoes and understand why she may have felt disappointed or unappreciated when her birthday presents were not wrapped. Communication is key in any relationship, so have an open and honest conversation with her about how you can make it right.
Make It Right
Apologize for forgetting to wrap her presents and express your regret for any hurt feelings she may have experienced. Offer to make it up to her by doing something special to show your appreciation and love for her.
Learn from the Experience
Use this situation as a learning experience to improve your relationship in the future. Take note of your girlfriend’s desires and preferences when it comes to gifts and special occasions, and make an effort to prioritize them in the future.
Conclusion
Navigating a situation where your girlfriend reacts ungratefully to unwrapped birthday presents can be challenging, but with empathy, communication, and a genuine effort to make things right, you can strengthen your relationship and grow together.
Remember, it’s the thought and effort that counts the most in any gift-giving situation. Keep these tips in mind for future occasions and watch your relationship flourish! #relationshipadvice #birthdayetiquette
Is she always like this? Gift bags and tissue is absolutely acceptable.
You put them in a gift bag, that IS wrapping them.
You did a lot more than the bare minimum. As a guy I think I speak for most of us when I say the bare minimum for us would be a simple happy birthday.
If she is mature she will come to realise you got her great gifts and put time, money and effort into buying these things for her. Imo she has been ungrateful. I’d give her time time to give it some thought.
I consider gifts in bags with tissue paper to be “wrapped.” I thought from the title that you were going to say you just gave them to her in Amazon bags or something but choosing gift bags over wrapping paper is perfectly fine.
I guess the technical solution would be to just try wrapping them and not worry if it’s perfect but that doesn’t really solve the issue of your girlfriend being rude about a non-issue. Does she often criticize you over small things like this?
She sounds exhausting and entitled.
Did you put all the gifts into one gift bag?
She’s ungrateful.
I’m going to guess this is probably something her mom said and she “learned” from her mom that gift bags are lazy
I love wrapping presents, at Christmas I choose a wrapping paper color and ribbon and wrap all my presents. One year I chose black chalk paper and drew elaborate Christmas themed pictures in various colors of chalk for everyone. I only use gift bags as a seriously last resort.
However, that’s me I love it and I know everyone else is different.
I don’t care how people give me gifts because it’s a fucking gift and you should be thankful for what you’ve received.
It just feels so ick that someone went to the trouble of getting the gift placing it in a gift bag and the recipient pouted and complained like a 5 year old because it didn’t come how they wanted.
She doesn’t want the gift(s), take them back.
In any case, drop the ungrateful girlfriend. Problem solved.
She sounds like a spoiled child tbh. Gift bag itself is wrapping
I’m at an age now where I literally wouldn’t put up with such a shallow, whiny response to a heartfelt gesture. I’d spark an immediate conversation where I would push hard for my partner to prove what they are about, and suss out what level of seriousness our relationship is. Maturity, kindness, harmony, and just plain courtesy are no longer optional. I don’t have enough time or energy left in my life to put up with someone who is so far gone from what I need in a partner.
My advice, then, is that you need to draw your own boundaries and decide what you will accept as the bare minimum treatment, and hold her to it. There are lots of people out there, and it’s healthiest to find someone with similar values and personalities. Good luck.
Apart from anything else, wrapping paper will go in the bin once it has been opened but the gift bag will go in the gift bag cupboard for reusing. So you’re being kind to the environment!
I’ve read this before.
I love to wrap gifts, like really love it, I offer to wrap all friends gifts anytime for no charge, or they can bring me a tea and a goodie if they want.
A gift bag and tissue paper IS wrapping a gift.
If this isn’t common behavior, I would have a sit down conversation with her on how she doesn’t get to dictate how you wrap a gift and that a gift bag is wrapping it. Just because she enjoys wrapping gifts in gift wrap, doesn’t mean her gifts are better.
Both of you are too old for this fight though, I can understand your frustration with this.
If this is normal behavior for her, it’s perfectly acceptable to break up over this. It’s a fundamental issue of love languages not matching most likely. She thinks if the presentation isn’t exactly how she would do it then that means you don’t care for her as much as she cares for you but that’s not true.
My husband sucks at wrapping gifts, like horrible. He does use the gift wrap because it’s nerd themed and we love it. However, I’ve been telling him for about 20 years now he can just use a gift bag and they are nerd themed too lol.
Time to return the gifts and the girlfriend. Gift bags are perfectly acceptable. If you had used gift wrap and it wasn’t perfect, she would still complain.
Gift bags are the way to go. I save and reuse them lol
I think she is wrong but the only way to be sure is to get me three gift bags full of gifts and see how I react. I suspect I will be very happy and grateful.
2 pork chops and eggs.
Edit: Oooops, My Ex wife asked me what I was having for breakfast in messenger and I was trying to reply to her.
Sorry bro. She sounds like a nightmare to be around.
I would’ve put the gifts back in the bag and walked out the door. Ungrateful little girl needs to do some growing up.
My ex threw a temu package at me a week after my birthday (he used the massage I bought him for his in April on my birthday and didn’t say happy birthday to me) She’s ungrateful.
Alright I’m going to give some advice because most of it seems to be “she’s entitled.” Which isn’t really advice even if it might be true.
My advice starts with some perspective. Try to understand where she is coming from. She seems to really value presents and gifts. Something about it makes her feel special and like you put thought into the present (I’m not saying it’s fair but it seems how she views it). She may feel if she has a well off family that expensive gifts don’t require any thought and that’s what she desires is something thoughtful.
So your best option for your relationship health is to have a conversation about it. You can note something like “Hey, I know you are upset about your birthday. I got things I thought you would really enjoy because I care about you. I realize that your desire is for them to be wrapped individually as part of your birthday.” You then can go two different ways:
1. “Because that’s special to you, I’m going to try my best to wrap presents for you. I feel really shitty about how I wrap things but I am willing to try my best because I want you to feel as special as you are.”
2. “I know that’s important to you but to me it isn’t important. I have a hard time caring about how it’s presented. This is because I’m really bad at wrapping and it is a painful experience to give someone something that looks subpar afterwards.”
Of course, there could be more to it. Heck maybe this is just one small fight in a list of other fights. I don’t blame you if this feels too exhausting for you. However, she communicated a want to you and you’re welcome to respond by trying to meet that want or by ignoring it. I don’t think you did anything wrong but she has different expectations from birthdays and presents than you. I’ll also be honest, sometimes fights like this happen because a partner doesn’t feel valued in their relationship already and have a sliver of hope that you might finally appreciate them on their birthday. Maybe that’s not you, but take a moment to reflect on that and see if it has anything to do with it.
I hate wrapping presents too. Guess who always puts things in gift bags? Me. Guess who is good at wrapping presents, and I’ll often ask to wrap presents for me when it’s for someone else- my husband. Guess who has literally never ever gave me grief or complained or even mentioned the difference between wrapped or unwrapped gifts? My husband.
She’s 24, you say? Sounds like she’s 12. Putting no effort in is handing her the gift in the bag from the store. You bought a gift bag *and* tissue paper, put the gifts into the gift bag, and surrounded them with tissue so she couldn’t see what was in the bag. She was annoyed at you from the get because you chose a gift bag rather than gift wrap. She sounds spoiled, ungrateful, and annoying.
How would I handle that? I’d have taken back the bag with the gifts in it and told her, “If the packaging is more important than the gifts, then I guess you don’t want these.” I’d have taken the gifts and put them away somewhere and not given her a gift. If she’s going to act like a child, treat her like a child.
Next time ~ if there is a next time ~ buy her *one* gift, have it wrapped at the store, and be done with it.
this is a really stupid hill for either of you to be dying on.
it’s not out of order to call her ungrateful when she literally didn’t express gratitude.
I’d go outside, get a stone & go to a gift shop that has around the year wrapping services and ask them to wrap it. Heck I’d even buy a pen and go give them to her. Then ghost.
Honestly, Except around Christmas, wrapped gift are a pretty rare sight. It’s 2024 & we have gift bags & those things are expensive so I expect you to keep it too. LOL
By your title, I was thinking the gifts were still in the store bags. You still put in the effort, and the way you gave them to her is perfectly acceptable. If it’s THAT important to her, AND your relationship is good otherwise, you could do a few things: 1. Wrap them yourself, however they turn out is how they turn out. 2. Wrap each gift in its own tissue paper before putting them in the bags. 3. Explain you want to give her the gifts in a manner within your skill set to where you feel good about how they’re presented before they’re opened. 4. Pay a friend to wrap them and sacrifice one of her gifts to cover the cost of wrapping them. 5. Have them professionally wrapped. I’d caution against this though, because she may come to expect it all the time, which won’t be feasible. Same with #4. 6. Have her teach you how to wrap gifts.
It sounds like “Acts of Service” (putting in work/effort) is a major love language for her, and that might be why it’s so important to her.
Look, she’s obviously not, like, legally or morally entitled to gift wrap vs gift bags. And It’s not like the world is going to end or it’ll help achieve world peace one way or the other. The aesthetic presentation of gifts once a year is really about as low stakes a relationship problem as it can get.
But IDK dude, is this *really* something you want make a point about refusing to do? Something where you want to insist that her even asking for it should make her feel stupid and small and selfish? I mean:
1. As far as things go that take little effort, but still make a giant statement of affection and appreciation, this is really low-hanging fruit.
2. Can you not consider doing this task to be a part of her birthday gift? You know, instead of turning her birthday gift into an annual reminder that refusing to do this small thing, that you know she would love, to make the point that you think her preference is unnecessary and stupid is more worth it to you than just humoring her, even once a year, even for her birthday, by making the extra 5 minutes of effort?
So yeah. Sure, I guess you could call her request dumb and just refuse to ever do it and demand she let it go. But why not consider it dumb but still do it for her anyway, and pick up like 3 football fields of birthday and relationship goodwill yardage for remarkably little effort?
I’m a mom and I promise you every mom I know has a bag of gift bags and tissue paper stored in the closet to be recycled for the next birthday party their child gets invited to, and my child is a teenager. I use reusable gift boxes purchased years ago for Christmas and they are gorgeous under the tree, and they are still going strong fifteen years later. Your girlfriend is being a pill, and you might try and talk to her about why she expects you to do something that that she knows you don’t do well and when it is something that you don’t enjoy doing, especially when you still give her thoughtful gifts. Good luck! Hers is a very odd hill to die on imho!
Dude, your girlfriend is being described as shallow, whiney, immature, and ungrateful in various comments. There’s no denying the accuracy of those comments. There’s no denying the misery of living with someone who has those character traits.
Was her response 100% out of character? Has she never acted like a spoiled princess before? In that case, she owes you a sincere apology and a promise to never play the spoiled princess again.
If you have seen hints of a princess in her behavior before, then it’s time to end the relationship. Seriously. I’m 64F, and have some life experience. A person who reacts as you described to nicely wrapped gifts is seriously entitled, and doesn’t care how their reaction might hurt the gift-giver.
Your girlfriend probably has several redeeming qualities, and may be a great catch in ten years after she’s learned some hard life lessons.
Let her go, so she can grow up. Until she grows up, she’ll continue be an unappreciative partner.
Seems like you have a very high maintenance girlfriend there. She’s being ridiculous. Maybe it’s a good thing she’s only a girlfriend.
Wrap them in newspaper next time. If there is a next time. I’m not sure I’d stick around with such an entitled idiot.
You did wrap them in an entirely acceptable way. Your gf sucks
When I read “because I didn’t wrap them” I assumed you meant you gave her them in a plastic bag or just handed them to her.
Present bag and wrapping paper is absolutely acceptable.
I disagree with your girlfriend but I think that you were in the wrong. Most of us would consider a gift bag and tissue paper to be wrapping. Your girlfriend does not. You are not dating us. You are dating your girlfriend. This is one of those occasions where you should exert yourself if you know that something is important to your partner. Next time buy from a store that gift wraps.
Honestly, I usually hate the word “ungrateful” because it so often gets thrown around in relationships by people demanding gratitude for nothing at all or at best for doing the bare minimum (or things their partner doesn’t even want and hasn’t asked for), and far too often the people demanding it are manipulative or abusive. BUT . . .
In this case you aren’t wrong. You were generous, thoughtful, actually paid attention to what your girlfriend wanted for her birthday and then went beyond even that in buying her gifts. She should have appreciated that. And a gift bag with tissue paper IS gift wrapping . . . and far more environmentally friendly because most are reusable.
That she would balk at the fact that you simply didn’t wrap the gifts in wrapping paper, all taped up and wasteful AF, is petty enough. But that she actually has the nerve to tell you that you “didn’t put any effort in”? She sounds exceptionally childish, entitled, and petty, and needs a refresher course on basic good manners.
You did wrap the presents. You arranged them nicely in a gift bag. Demanding anything more as if it’s some sort of right is unreasonable and, frankly, obnoxious. She sounds insufferable.
She can also be ungrateful when talking back the presents. Shit. She sounds very ungrateful. Wrapping presents is cheaper in my opinion than a nice bag and tissue paper. My pawpaw use to wrap ours in newspaper. Never been more happy.
I would handle it by taking a hard look at the relationship. Her attitude is obnoxious, ungrateful, and entitled. That’s three red flags waving in your face right there.
I can’t wrap to save my life so I prefer to use gift bags. She sounds incredibly ungrateful. It’s the thought that counts. If my spouse did this to me I would take the gifts back.
Red Flag.
Are gift bags not essentially “wrapping presents”? 9/10 times this is what I do and I reuse bags. Some things can’t be wrapped well. The only time I bring out wrapping paper is for the holidays
You say gift bag and tissue, but that could cover a wide range of level of effort on presentation. From “couldn’t give less of a fuck here’s your gift” to “wow! How festive and cheerful!”
Honestly a picture would be helpful. A proper gift bag presentation *can* take more care and effort than wrapping. But I’m guessing yours did not.
Like it or not, the presentation is a huge part of things. I tell men, whatever you do, “put a fucking bow on it”. And not a shitty one leftover from Xmas. A big, pretty, non-holiday bow. This can turn a bottle of champagne and a card, or a grocery store orchid, into a legit gift.
With that attitude, she’s lucky she got a gift at all. Is she frequently a b-word when the situation doesn’t call for it?
I think this is a misunderstanding. She is using her perception to judge your actions. If SHE were to give a gift in a bag, she would think that is thoughtless and maybe she thinks it’s nicer and more fun for the recipient to have something to open. But that’s just not the way you see it, which it 100% fine!
I think you need to talk about it and she has to understand your intention behind it doesn’t carry the same meaning as if she did the action. It’s not reasonable to judge people based on just our own perceptions.
And maybe if you don’t mind, you could wrap her presents in the future because it will mean something to her?
I would explain to her that the thought and gesture is what counts not a sheet of paper covering the gift.
I never and I mean never wrapped my kids bday nor Christmas presents and I can honestly say they have never given a flying fuvk. Tell her the bag being reusable is better for the environment. And the correct response to receiving a gift is “thank you”.