#InsensitiveJoke #FamilyMeeting #GrievingProcess #CommunicatingFeelings
Are you wondering if you’re the only one feeling guilty after making an insensitive joke about a sensitive topic? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. In fact, many individuals often find themselves in a similar situation, where they unintentionally offend others with their words. It’s important to acknowledge that making mistakes is a part of being human, and what truly matters is how you handle the aftermath of your actions.
## Understanding the Problem
In this scenario, you find yourself in a tricky situation where you made a lighthearted joke about your deceased father when discussing a family meeting with your boyfriend’s parents. Despite your intentions of lightening the mood, your joke was poorly received, causing hurt feelings and anger among the other party involved. Now, you’re left feeling guilty and wondering if you crossed a line with your remark.
## Practical Solutions
Here are some practical steps you can take to address the issue and make amends:
### 1. Apologize Sincerely
First and foremost, apologize sincerely to the individuals affected by your joke. Express your regret for causing any distress or discomfort with your words. Acknowledge the impact of your actions and take responsibility for your mistake.
### 2. Explain Your Intentions
Clarify your intentions behind the insensitive joke. Let the other party know that you did not mean to harm or offend anyone, and that your remark was made in jest without considering the sensitivity of the topic.
### 3. Seek Understanding
Encourage open communication by listening to the other party’s perspective and feelings. Allow them to share how your joke made them feel and validate their emotions. Show empathy and understanding towards their reaction.
### 4. Learn from the Experience
Use this incident as a learning opportunity to become more mindful of the impact your words can have on others. Reflect on how you can communicate more effectively in the future and avoid making similar mistakes.
In conclusion, it’s normal to feel guilty and question your actions after making an insensitive joke. However, by taking proactive steps to apologize, explain your intentions, seek understanding, and learn from the experience, you can work towards resolving the issue and improving your communication skills. Remember, we all make mistakes, but it’s how we handle them that truly defines our character.
NTA. My mom died when I was 10. And when I dated my bf when we’re 20 his mom wanted to meet mine and he didn’t tell her she had died and neither had I but I made a similar joke. She invited her to their Halloween party and I said it’ll be perfect she is definitely a skeleton by now no need to pay for a costume and my bf was horrified and he had to explain to his mom and she was horrified. I thought it was hilarious.
They’ll get over it. Dark humor helps some with healing. I work with cancer patients, many of which have passed and if you don’t laugh some days you’ll go insane.
I’ve told my in-laws about 30 times that my dad OD’d a few years ago, and they still forget. I make ouija board jokes now.
“What’s your dad been up to?” I don’t know, we’ll have to get the ouija board out and ask him!
NTA, OP. They’re embarrassed and uncomfortable.
NTA.
“I made a joke about my own trauma and now the in-laws are acting traumatized” your in laws are narcissists, probably. keep them at arm’s length.
NTA you’re making a joke about a topic sensitive to you. If that’s how you deal with your loss, it’s ok.
NTA
And you wouldn’t be the AH if you had gotten mad at them for forgetting. Quite, honestly, this seemed like such a polite way to deal with the situation (which is very kind of you to have done btw). I think they’re making a fuss out of embarrassment. They would rather focus on this non-issue than have you focus on their fuck up.
>They didn’t accept my apology and are still pissed at me
NTA – At least you won’t be seeing them anytime soon or much overall. If anyone did anything wrong and should apologize, it’s them.
NTA. They are embarrassed that they forgot and have tried to turn the tables to be mad at you about the joke. Ultimately they’re the one who was insensitive for forgetting and they should simply have apologized. You are the one who lost your father – I’m so sorry – and thus you are allowed to be the one to make the dark jokes about it. You didn’t cross a line.
NTA. You lost your dad, it’s not someone else’s place to get offended by dark humor about something that happened to you and not them. They are probably just feeling defensive because they knew you when it happened and apparently forgot about something that big in your life
NTA
I’ve done the same thing lol. You made a joke, and while it can be too heavy for some people, you apologized. What else do they want at this point?
So you took their forgetfulness in very good part but when they failed to take the hint, it was somehow your fault? NTA. Tell them to get a fucking grip. You are not to blame for their embarrassment. I really can’t believe they think they can get away with gaslighting you for them being TA.
NTA that joke was actually funny. its not like you brought the urn over and went round introducing everyone.
they most likely just embarrassed that they forgot.
NTA.
Your BF’s parents are TA in this situation. To have forgotten such a huge moment in your life is crazy. And then to *double down* on it like you’re at fault that *they* forgot? No way.
They owe you an apology for forgetting about your dad’s death, as well as for not acknowledging you were trying to lighten up an uncomfortable and unnecessary situation that **they** created in the first place.
I’m happy for you that they are moving further away because they sound like real pieces of work once the masks come off.
You actually softened their stupidity blow by making light of an awkward request, and they’re angry with you? F them. Be glad they are moving. NTA
NTA. They decided it was more comfortable to be pissed at you than at themselves since they forgot something that significant that had happened to you.
NTA. Sounds like the kind of comment I would have made, so that may be coloring my judgment.
“They didn’t accept my apology and are still pissed at me”
—At least they are moving out of the state and, should you happen to get married to this person, they are more likely to remember the family history when it comes up for discussion.
NTA.
They’re just embarrassed they forgot your dad passed and are trying to turn this on you for some reason, weird behaviour if you ask me.
Of course NTA
” I was simply making a heavy joke. They were absolutely pissed I’d make a joke like that.”
It isn’t their call to judge or comment.
“I apologized”
You had nothing to be sorry for.
NTA
> They were absolutely pissed I’d make a joke like that
Well, too bad for them.
NTA or even close
They should have remembered such an awful chapter in your life.
Probably mad at themselves. They’re jerks.
NTA
IMO… NTA.
I’m guessing they felt embarrassed, because there is this social taboo against talking about the dead. And instead of a quick, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I forgot.” They went the offended route.
People might also argue that they felt your joke was in poor taste, since they knew the man.
But, not well enough to remember he was dead.
So, I really don’t think they have a leg to stand on here.