What challenges have you faced with dating and relationships as you’ve grown older? #dating #relationships #challenges #aging
Have you had to come to terms with any tough realities as you’ve navigated the dating world? Share your thoughts and experiences with us! #datingstruggles #relationshiptruths
Accepting Change
– How have your expectations shifted over time in dating and relationships?
– What difficult truths about love and romance have you encountered as you’ve aged?
Managing Expectations
– How do you balance desires for long-term commitment with the realities of dating in your later years?
– What wisdom can you share about adjusting to different stages of life in relationships?
– What difficult truths about love and romance have you encountered as you’ve aged?
Managing Expectations
– How do you balance desires for long-term commitment with the realities of dating in your later years?
– What wisdom can you share about adjusting to different stages of life in relationships?
– What wisdom can you share about adjusting to different stages of life in relationships?
Join the conversation and reflect on the insights and lessons learned from your own journey through the complexities of love and connection. Let’s explore these challenges together! #datingadvice #relationshipwisdom
As you can imagine the problem is me, not them.
Dating is for the ugly, marriage is for the beauty.
Not on an appearance level, but when you’re dating someone you have to understand that you are going to see sides of each other that you do not enjoy. That’s when you’re tested on unconditional love. Can I still love this person even though this situation is ugly? Can we converse each other to common ground? When you can, that’s when you get married and commit to unconditional love. That’s when things should be all cute and lovey dovey.
That they are significantly harder than I could ever expect. I’m not ready for them. Having a low self esteem is going to make dating hell. Relationships simply are not for everyone
For Me, as I got older and went from being Married and Active Duty Military to being Divorced and Retired and Newly Single and back on the dating scene the Hardest part was getting used to everybody’s Idiosyncrasies that would sometimes end up Chapping my ass to the point it ended one or two! But such is Life! But each “New” Adventure is a Give & Take and Honestly it did take me a bit to get used to that!
There are only two difficult aspects of dating and relationships. The first one is dating, the other is relationships.
You need to be comfortable with being 100% real with yourself if you want it to work. So many relationships are ruined because one or both parties have deep seated insecurities which manifest in ways such as an excessive need for validation or addiction etc.
Sometimes two people just aren’t compatible. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people or that something is wrong with one or both of them, they just don’t work as a couple.
I’ve ended relationships in the past for really dumb things. Like if they just got on my nerves on the wrong day, I’m picking a fight and packing my stuff. Now I’m married and this woman has the ability to drive me up the wall sometimes, my eye twitches when she chews certain types of food, and she snores like nothing I have ever heard before when she doesn’t use her sleep apnea machine.
But i can deal with things like that now; honestly it was more WEIRD to realize i was accepting it as opposed to “difficult” to accept. She knows what drives me up the wall but looks cute when she’s doing it. She’s chewing on food I made for her cuz it’s her favorite. And she’s snoring beside me every night with her leg thrown over mine.
That most people are going to choose to love people who aren’t and never were good for them. And they will in turn take out said pain it causes on others as opposed to finding someone who is good for them.
I realized that I don’t have many more lives when it comes to dating someone with a cat.
So I’m out of the pool. Before it kills me.
Without effort on my part, I don’t have the capacity to have the trust or empathy necessary for a committed relationship
Arguing productively is a good thing. It may suck but as long as progress is being made it’s generally worth it to communicate confrontational things to your partner.
Every1 has baggage, it’s how you carry it that counts
Not just for romantic relationships but all relationships – we don’t have to like all the same things. But that even if I can’t relate to someone’s enthusiasm for something I can still support them in it.
I see it all the time, have had it done to me, and I’ve probably done it where people can be dismissive or shut down someone’s enthusiasm for something that they don’t know or care about. Like when a friend wants to enthuse about hiking and someone says “ugh! Yeah that’s all you, I hate the woods” or whatever. Like, so? Let them talk about why they love it! It’s not about you! It’s a habit a lot of people have and I had it too but I’ve worked to break myself of it.
And it’s made me a better friend and partner because people get to gush to me about their passions and I’m genuinely happy to see them happy, and what I find interesting is their passion more than the activity itself. I don’t have to like hiking to listen to my friend talk about her upcoming hiking trip. And I can ask her questions about it that I might be interested in, like how she felt getting to the top, what was the view like.
My bf is passionate about cars and 3d printing. I support him whole heartedly and love when he talks about it to me. We watch car shows together and some stuff is over my head but parts of those shows are relatable even to me like when they test drive something or do a big reveal. I might ask my bf a question about what they are doing on the show.
It’s just really easy to NOT shut people down when they want to talk about something they enjoy, even if you don’t share the interest.
I still get that happening to me with a lot of my interests or like monosyllabic grunts if I talk about them but I try not to let it get to me. Mostly it doesn’t. I mean I was the 5 year old girl who loved dinosaurs. I’m still the nerd who loves ancient history and etymology and philosophy and the implications of quantum physics
I let go of needing someone to listen or care about my interests – hahahha a lot of people who are passionate about philosophy are mostly passionate about their OWN philosophy anyway, but I’m definitely happy to be the person who cares about other peoples and be the one that listens and encourages their joy.
That you have to choose to be with that person because eventually, the butterflies will fade. I don’t care how much of “your type” someone is either physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc. You will eventually get used to it and that “Wow” factor will disappear and you’re left with a human being that’s just as flawed as you.
You can either choose to continue chasing that high with multiple people or learn that relationships and love require more than just your temporary feelings of lust or perfection to work correctly
That after 21 years if im ever single again i am single for life.
Ive been with my partner since we were 15 and 16 so there was no real “dating” we just finished HS got jobs got a flat.
Watching people I know navigate the dating scene these days honestly makes me anxious and its not me. Its basically window shopping.
As for relationships given we’ve been together since children we learnt and grew together so flaws and all I love that man and he myself, I dont want to learn to live with someone elses issues and like how as two seperate adults are you just supposed to merge your lives.
Yup thats me either this man never leaves me or i die single lol
Love is not enough.
You need compatibility, and a certain level of emotional intelligence for it to work.
I can’t jump straight into a relationship, if I don’t know the person well it won’t end well, which makes me sad because I’m really fucking horny bjt can’t get close to someone yet 😭
The idea of staying in a relationship as long as no one cleats or hits eachother sounds great on paper, But you’re allowed to leave a relationship that is still in those perimeters. There are more types of abuse than just physical and it’s ok to love someone and still distance yourself from them if they continue to cross boundaries or impacts your health in any way.
You are the most important person in your life, its ok to be ‘selfish’ if it means protecting yourself and your happiness.
That someone else’s opinion about me isn’t necessarily true and I had to do the work to figure out who I am.
That things not being forever doesnt mean you “failed.”
It doesn’t work out for everyone. Sometimes you have to be okay with making your own Hapily Ever After.
Being 40 is a weird age, to old for anyone under 30, but to going for over 50, kind of a dating limbo
There is no “finish line” and it can end at any point regardless of how commited you are.
They already showed you who they are the first time
Nobody else can ever make you happier than you are by yourself. Not in the long run.
Some people are just not attracted to people who are good for them and end up in bad relationship after bad relationship. They get discouraged and feel like love isn’t for them but they’re just loving wrong and unwilling to see it.
In the end, kindness is all that matters. You have to be kind to yourself (and sometimes that means setting boundaries) and kind to the other person, too. Give them the benefit of the doubt. The hardest thing to admit is that sometimes, I’m just being an asshole.
That you have to work through the times that are hard with SOMEONE. I am someone who the moment someone whether it’s friendships or relationships, does me wrong in any way I cut them out of my life. My boyfriend emotionally cheated in the beginning of our relationship. When I caught it, I broke up with him, blocked him, refused to see him. I didn’t speak to him for days. He just kept trying so so hard to get me to see him, and forgive him. He tried to find anyway to get me to notice him so I decided to give him a second chance, 8 years later. I’m so happy I did. He’s the best and I trust him completely. Had I stuck to my ways of cutting things off we wouldn’t be together. Not just because of that situation but also, when fighting about money, jobs that get in the way, etc. just gotta keep working with each other and not cut and run when things get difficult
That I’ll probably be alone for a lot longer than I want to be but at least I’m not stuck in a toxic relationship. And that my depression and ptsd will most likely always get in the way
At 25 most people have kids and I am not a fan of kids, especially other peoples kids.
Most relationships tend to be the same shit, different day.
The perfect couples you see on social media will only make you feel insecure about your own relationship and are usually just a facade.
If you have the opportunity, time, patience, and ability to listen, you then have the potential to have a relationship with absolutely anyone.
You can find yourself accidentally in the middle of a relationship if you can’t say no
Love is hard work, and unless you are willing to put in that work, it will not be enough.
Unfortunately both parties need to understand that, otherwise you are just pulling on a dead horse
Relationships: If you are with someone, you are only half of that relationship. You will never fully be the main character and it doesn’t matter how much you care about/love someone, if they aren’t good for you or don’t love you, learn to walk away. Don’t throw good energy into a void. Don’t waste your life waiting for someone to show you the love you show them.
I’ve seen too many people waste their lives waiting for the person they love to love them back. If it’s not there for them, then it’s not there. No amount of time, energy, wanting, desire, hoping, giving will ever be enough. And some things will not ever change. Sure, some behavior can be modified and corrected. But someone will never magically wake up and feel what YOU think they should, regardless of your feelings.
There is no fairytale… Just comfy socks.
if I want to someone to change a behavior, I need to change my behavior / mindset that enables it first. Clean your own closet.
That I can’t force a sexuality upon myself, no matter how much I try and how awesome the person is.
1. That almost everyone has low self confidence which makes them do crazy stuff.
2. People will try to manipulate you and push your boundaries, just like kids do.
3. People carry a ton of trauma and use dates to unpack that shit. Ever since I became single, 99% of my first phone calls or first dates quickly turned into a therapy session for the lady, me being the therapist. At first I blamed myself, but when the “unpacking of trauma” starts after only like 3-4 messages between us, I understood that it’s not me. Seems more people bond over traumas nowadays.
It is genuinely dangerous
Anyone who refuses to communicate isn’t worth the effort.
Being bald sucks, especially after being known as the guy with beautiful flowing hair for most of my life. Sure, some women seem okay with the bald look, but it’s nothing like dating in my 20s.
In addition, I feel like every choice I’ve made (even the good ones) have severely hindered my options to meet people to date: I don’t drink and I don’t like going to bars or parties, and I’m back at college. Problem is….I’m in my mid 30s and there are no women at school anywhere near my age so I can’t meet people to date here either. And finally, I live in a rural community and the lack of people is really limiting the dating pool.
Anywho, sorry about rambling. It’s Saturday evening and once again I’m going to spend Saturday alone because I just don’t know where to meet women my age anymore. None of the dating apps are working (I have them all and haven’t had a match or conversation in months). This shit makes me sad, makes me feel like I’m going to die alone.
My “type” was terrible. Basically I wanted a hot mean girl with cool taste in underground culture. Like if one of the popular girls from my high school grew up to get into the cool shit I liked.
When a mean girl is into you, you feel like you’ve passed some kind of bar of judgement. And I still maintain there is nobody on earth funnier to watch TV with.
After walking into the same wall for the nth time and having the same shitty experience, I had to change up. I started dating for core values, a good personality, and compatible attachment styles, and got more open minded about looks than I was.
I’ve got an awesome fiancé now. We haven’t had an actual full blown fight ever in a 3 year relationship and I finally after years of hating dating, love, and relationships feel like I have found a partner. It isn’t just a gender neutral term, it means something. You want it.
“Me time” is very important even though you hope your partner does everything with you
That if you’re annoyed at something your SO is doing, it’s very likely they’re annoyed at you about something as well. If you don’t talk about it, it will never go away.
That you can’t control someone or convince them to love/like you. They either do or they don’t. and if they loved you once and something happened and now they don’t love you, you will never get it back….never
About relationships in general I’ve had to accept that there are some people in this world that you can never be on good terms with no matter what. When I was younger I used to think that people could always find a way to be on good terms with each other if they just tried hard enough.
That despite what keeps being said by the ages older than me no matter how much older I get the maturity level never changes.
Obviously not a true universal “never”.
Just that dating someone 22 and someone 52 are not particularly different in maturity… or even life experience. Two *individuals* of those (or other) ages will be, but that as a sweeping statement like it’s sold is not true.
In dating and getting older I’ve very much learned not to assume older = wise, more responsible, more life experience, more functional in daily and work life, better at communicating, more financially stable… all those stereotyped things. Above legal age take every.single.person. as an individual and judge by the traits they show.
Make no assumptions. Take every adult as an individual to find out about.