What challenges did you face in dating as you aged? Did you struggle with accepting certain aspects of relationships? Share your experiences and insights! #DatingChallenges #RelationshipStruggles #AgingAndDating
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In my case if I spend a lot of time with someone I will always always always be annoyed with them from time to time. For me, “getting on my nerves sometimes” is not a great reason to end the relationship. It literally always happens. The problem is me, not them.
Not every connection will last forever, no matter how deeply you invest in it. While we often enter relationships with high hopes and expectations, life is unpredictable, and people change. Accepting this inherent uncertainty and focusing on personal growth and self-love will help navigating the complexities of dating and relationships.
People wont change for you, a lot of broken promises. If someones not meeting your needs, dont waste anymore time in that relationship
The older you get, the more screwed up your options are. If you are in your 50’s you are going to be dating people who have been divorced (maybe multiple times) or widowed and have significant damage from that, or worse…those who are so fucked up to start with they NEVER maintained a steady relationship in their life, which is why they are still on the market.
Although to be fair, this may start as young as 40
Dating someone because they are the smartest person you have met is often a horrible horrible idea if they are also a horrible horrible person.
If they wanted to, they would
You can love somebody but still have to break up with them. There are a lot of reasons that relationships don’t/won’t work out, and if you accept them because “love will conquer all,” you may be sacrificing your happiness in many other ways.
Most important thing for a healthy relationship is the time for self with some space.
Relationships sometimes require compromise and sacrifice
Relationships aren’t a video game where feats bring you closer together. What you’re willing to sacrifice will not match what you’ll receive.
That I was really bad at it!
That it’s nearly impossible. We live in a culture of swiping on apps and thinking something better is round the corner.
Despite what my family tells me, I do not need someone in my life to make it great. In fact, the most miserable I’ve been was when I was actively looking for a partner or a few weeks into a relationship when the « honeymoon » phase ends. As I am unwilling to make any kind of compromise for another’s happiness, I have made the executive decision to get out of the pool. I’ve been happy with the results so far.
No one owes you a damn thing.
Truly understand yourself and your behaviors before trying to understand and take care of someone else.
That I’ll never find one.
Starting over with someone new means you have to start everything over. You can’t blame this new person for things that others have done. No matter what patterns you’ve been taught up to this point, you have to give them a chance….
That once you hit late twenties, a lot of people have at least one kid. So you kinda have to think about if you’d date somebody with a kid already. Or at least that’s what my friends (both men and women) are finding. It’s not a bad thing exactly but can be difficult if you don’t want kids but a lot of people in the dating pool have them.
If you have to convince yourself to stay in a relationship, it’s time to get out of that relationship.
People don’t reveal their true colours until it’s too late to leave without damage and trauma. I’m in my early thirties.
That there isn’t someone for everybody. Some fish in the sea are meant to swim alone, and that’s okay. Harsh reality I’ve just now been able to accept.
cheating is a choice
You will never get out of an abusive relationship if you don’t realize your self worth.
Status as a man becomes more important as you grow older
If you ever want to be loved, you have to leave yourself open to being hurt.
Learned that one fairly early on. I could keep pushing them away, being a bit of a cow or I could let them in. The trash took itself out, I did okay.
No matter how you feel you can’t control a person.
Love takes work, and is a decision you make every day. You wake up, and have to choose your person every day. Remembering that every day is step in a lifetime and that it is worth the effort it takes to build a loving, long-term relationship.
That I’m probably never going to be in one ever again.
Most important part about it isn’t love – like how pop culture portrays it. It’s respect.
Not sure how to express this, but it’s just a lot harder in my mid 40s to date. In your early years basically any attention gets treated with giddiness and an overabundance of optimism that you’ll be together forever because “Look, our hands are the same size!” Or other such “signs” we are “meant to be.”
The older you get the more you realize the concept of “the one” is better expressed as “the one who worked for those specific years of life.” You lose the giddy forever after and replace it with “are you even worthy enough to be my One Right Now. It’s not a bad thing necessarily. It just puts a more realistic spin on things. You’ve lost the concept of relationships being easy and effortless. You know they are work and because you put in that work on relationships that still didn’t last, you are now more selective of who gets any attention from you at all.
That some people remain juvenile and shallow well into their 30’s and above.
It’s not always a “in-your-20’s” phase…
That just because you love someone and hold them dear, it does not always mean they are meant for you. Some people are brought into our lives to teach us important lessons, so in the end, we know what we want and don’t want in a relationship and we can better know our self-worth.
The abusive people I dated were my choice and I taught them how I accepted being treated.
Praise the fucking lord I learned how to say no and demand respect
People can’t give you what they can’t give themselves.
If your the one that is always compromising, isn’t the one always starting fights, and is the one who has to reconcile after every fight, then maybe that relationship isn’t healthy.
They’re nothing like what you were most likely lead to believe in movies, books, songs, etc.
When you stop trying to meet criteria, just open yourself up to people, and spend time with people that don’t feel like work to be around, you just kind of fall into a relationship that works.
My wife is not who I would have imagined myself with when I was young, but she’s a part of me, and me of her, and I love her more than she’ll probably ever realize.
People don’t change. At all.
That every guy I try to meet wants things fast… and I do not.
Whoever cares more loses.
I’m not the catch that I think I am.
The majority of people in “bad” relationships are not victims, but rather just one half of a 2-person problem. Most people I know did not form healthy attachment styles from their caregivers growing up, and also never did the work as adults to be capable of a healthy relationship.
Basically, the majority of people are simply not capable of supporting a healthy romantic relationship due to trauma, mistrust, and a lack of coping/communication skills. And those who *are* are going to find themselves pulling all the weight in all their relationships, before they inevitably decide to stay single.
That it’s not all date nights and doing new stuff. Real life is a grind and a dull slog at times. Joy comes in micro doses at times.
People are really damaged and I think majority of women have been sexually abused or assaulted at some point.