#PolitenessEvolution #SocialEtiquette #ChangingNorms
Can you believe that something that was once seen as perfectly polite 30 years ago is now considered downright impolite today? It’s pretty wild to think about how much social norms and etiquette have evolved over the years. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and explore some of the things that used to be considered polite but are now considered impolite in today’s society.
One major shift in social etiquette that comes to mind is the use of cell phones. 30 years ago, cell phones were a rarity and considered a luxury item. If you had a cell phone, it was seen as polite to excuse yourself from a conversation or social setting to take a call. It was considered rude to talk on the phone in front of others, especially in a public place like a restaurant or on public transportation. But fast forward to today, where cell phones are practically glued to our hands, and it’s now considered impolite to be on your phone while in the company of others. Whether you’re at dinner with friends or in a professional meeting, being constantly glued to your phone is a surefire way to come across as rude and disinterested in the present company.
Another example of a once-polite behavior that is now considered impolite is the use of certain terms and phrases. 30 years ago, it was commonplace to use terms like “retarded” or “gay” in a colloquial, non-malicious way. However, as our society has grown more aware and sensitive to the impact of language, using these terms in a casual or derogatory manner is now seen as disrespectful and insensitive. This shift in language usage reflects the evolving attitudes towards marginalized communities and the importance of choosing our words carefully to show respect and consideration for others.
Furthermore, the way we dress and present ourselves has also undergone significant changes in terms of what is considered polite. When we look back at fashion trends from 30 years ago, it’s clear that the standards of dress have shifted dramatically. In the past, it was common for men to wear hats as part of their everyday attire, and not doing so was often seen as disrespectful. But now, wearing a hat indoors is generally considered impolite, as it can be seen as a sign of disrespect or a lack of manners in certain settings. On the other hand, the casualization of dress codes has made it more acceptable to dress informally in many professional and social settings, whereas in the past, formal attire was the norm.
In addition to these examples, there are many other behaviors that have shifted from polite to impolite over the last 30 years. For instance, the way we handle personal interactions and greetings has changed. In the past, it was customary to greet someone with a firm handshake, and failing to do so could be seen as rude or unprofessional. However, as society has become more aware of personal boundaries and hygiene, the expectation for physical greetings has shifted. With the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, handshakes and hugs are now often replaced with more distant and hygienic forms of greetings, such as a nod or verbal greeting.
The evolution of social media and technology has also played a significant role in shaping what is considered polite or impolite in today’s society. 30 years ago, it was considered polite to send a handwritten thank-you note to express gratitude or appreciation. However, with the advent of email and instant messaging, the expectation for written thank-you notes has diminished, and a quick email or text is now seen as sufficient. On the flip side, the rise of social media has led to new forms of impolite behavior, such as oversharing personal details or venting about private matters in a public forum. What was once considered private or intimate is now often aired out for all to see, blurring the lines of social etiquette and personal boundaries.
It’s important to note that the shift from polite to impolite behavior isn’t just a matter of arbitrary changes in social norms; it reflects the larger societal shifts in values, awareness, and respect for others. As our understanding of diversity, inclusion, and social dynamics continues to evolve, so too do our expectations for polite and respectful behavior. It’s a reminder that politeness isn’t just about arbitrary rules or formalities; it’s about showing consideration and respect for others in a way that reflects our shared values as a society.
So, the next time you catch yourself doing something that was once considered polite but is now considered impolite, take a moment to reflect on why that shift has occurred. By understanding the reasons behind these changes, we can strive to be more mindful and considerate in our interactions with others, and adapt to the evolving standards of social etiquette. After all, being polite isn’t just about following a set of rigid rules; it’s about creating a kinder, more respectful world for everyone. Let’s embrace these shifts in social norms with an open mind and a willingness to adapt, because at the end of the day, the essence of politeness is all about treating others with kindness and empathy.
Addressing a newly wed as “Mrs. [Husband’s First Name] [Husband’s Last Name]”.
Used to be proper etiquette and now it’s just misogynistic.
In another 30 years my hunch is women taking their husband’s last name will also be a lot less common.
Calling instead of texting. Generational obviously, but nearly everyone I know my own age (30) groans as soon as the phone rings, but would happily text or meet in person.
Phone manners used to be a thing. Literally, an etiquette that society used, with a certain cadence.
I’m 40, and remember it being a thing. When I call my 76yo buddy, I notice he adheres to it. I do my best to keep up my side of the interaction.
In the 90s as a teen we would always call stuff “gay.”
I scratched my PS1 disc. “Aww man… That’s gay.”
One of my friends clipped my heal while walking to the shops. “Stop being gay.”
One of my friends came out as gay. “Haaa I Knew it, total gay.”
It wasn’t meant to make fun of gay people really. It’s like we just use words to express a flavour of emotion.
But now I think a lot of us have grown and realised how even unintended use of words can be insensitive.
I still call my best friend gay. Even though he’s not. And I have gay friends.
I forgot what my point was.
Just don’t be dicks to people.
One thing that comes to mind is answering machines. Back in the day, it was considered super polite to leave a detailed message, but now, with texting and all, some folks find it a bit much. Like, just shoot me a quick text, you know? Times sure have changed!
No immediate communication for a few days due to lack of widespread cellphone use and instant-messaging.
It was normal to just go a couple of weeks without hearing back from a friend or even a few days without talking with a close friend or family member.
If someone didn’t answer the phone, the assumption was that they simply weren’t home and would get back to you within the next couple of days, not that something was wrong.
Commenting on people’s weight.
Calling someone “sir” or “maam” – I swear I’m not trying to assume your gender, I was just raised this way 😭
Referring to a woman as “Mrs [Husband’s first and last name!]. I worked at a Dr’s office, and all the patients were listed this way. I would lose my mind if someone tried to list my “name” this way.
Giving a kid candy, without asking that kid’s parents.
In the 90s, some people thought using the word “transvestite” was the polite word for “cross dresser”. Evolved to trans or queen (and now just not discussing one’s gender), depending on the situation.
A firm handshake. I feel like it used to be used to show you’re enthused and happy to be there/meet them. Now it just feels like a power move.
If I get an overly firm handshake before it was “that guy is enthusiastic and knows how to do a good handshake”
To now where I feel like it’s “wtf is that guys problem?”
Reminder that 30 years ago means the early 90s.
Landing up unannounced at someone’s place for a visit
Using an ellipsis…
Somehow it’s gone from being a signifier of an unfinished sentence to a passive aggressive attack on the recipient of the email or txt message.
Calling someone instead of messaging.
ITT: People confusing “normal” with “polite”.
In Spain, a guy giving 2 kisses to a girl/woman you do not know. In a close personal/social situation it’s still ok, but in a more formal setting, especially professional, it’s (rightly) considered a bit too intrusive and unpolite. Used to be the norm though.
The post says 30 years (1993), but my mind instantly went to the 1950s.
This whole post reads like upside down world.
Saying, “Hey, have you lost weight? You’re looking great!”
Winding down the car window to smoke.
Obviously smoking in a car in general these days is considered impolite, just in case anyone thought I was implying that it was somehow considered impolite because your passengers would somehow want that toxic smell as well
keeping your butthole away from your sex partner’s face
Maybe more like 40 years ago, but a quick peck on the lips…Richard Dawson was king of this.
Watching the Game Show Network, and old “Match Game” episodes, he was always kissing the ladies. He did it later when hosting Family Feud too. Weird.
Stopping by a casual acquaintance’s home unannounced simply because you were ‘in the neighborhood’.