#EmergencyPoopSituations #WeirdestToiletExperiences #BathroomDisasters
🚽 Where’s the weirdest place you ever had to take a sh*t? 💩 We’ve all been there – in a desperate situation where nature calls at the most inconvenient time and place. Whether it’s on a deserted road trip, during a hike in the middle of the woods, or at a friend’s house with no working bathroom, we’ve all had our fair share of bizarre poop experiences.
The Problem:
🤦♂️ It can be embarrassing, uncomfortable, and downright stressful to find yourself in a situation where you desperately need to use the bathroom but are nowhere near a proper facility. In some cases, you may even be miles away from civilization, with no access to a toilet in sight.
Solutions:
1. **Always Be Prepared**: Keep a small emergency kit with toilet paper, wet wipes, and hand sanitizer in your car or backpack at all times. You never know when nature will call, so it’s best to be prepared for any situation.
2. **Be Resourceful**: When nature calls, you may have to get creative with your surroundings. Look for secluded areas with some privacy, like behind bushes or trees, and make sure to clean up after yourself to leave no trace.
3. **Plan Ahead**: If you know you’ll be in a remote area with limited bathroom options, try to plan your bathroom breaks in advance. Stay hydrated, eat fiber-rich foods, and use the restroom whenever you have the opportunity to avoid any emergencies.
4. **Stay Calm**: Panicking will only make the situation worse. Take a deep breath, assess your surroundings, and come up with a plan to handle the situation discreetly and efficiently.
5. **Learn from Experience**: Use your past bathroom disasters as learning experiences. Think about what worked and what didn’t in those situations, and use that knowledge to prepare for any future emergencies.
🚽 So, where’s the weirdest place you ever had to take a sh*t? Share your stories and tips in the comments below and remember, when nature calls, be prepared, stay calm, and handle the situation with grace. 💩 #BathroomRescue #EmergencyPoopKit
Running sideways across a field.
On a glass coffee table with someone watching underneath
Lowe’s parking lot
Letterbox
I had a great poop under a bridge, leaning up against the wall beneath.
The woods, not really weird, but it happens.
Kind of depressing, but Holocaust Museum in DC. I was a tour guide and it was one of the nicer places on the Mall.
I had to lay an underwater cable while snorkeling in Greece, that was not fun
My storage unit, in an old Tupperware container, in the smallest space possible. That I could barely fit in with the door barely closed, put a lid on that sucker forgot to throw it away after 3 days, I never smelled a thing. Biggest s*** ever taken in my life.
In a factory toilet. I was working there at the time and the toilets had never been cleaned. The toilets were blocked but people kept on pooing in there so each toilet had a mound of poo and tissue that peaked above the seat. Some had also used the bin – same story there. It seemed that other workers only used these toilets in an emergency, pee was pee’d outside and poop was held: them’s the unwritten rules. Anyway I had an emergency and would rather die than be seen crappin outside so I had to use one of those toilets. I had to hover above the mound, which was so high that I didn’t have to bend my knees that much. Grim, can still smell it, saw a dude unclog one of those toilets months later with his bare hands.
This is kinda hard to explain. I’m Gen X, which means we were just an annoyance to our parents. My dad was the guy you’d see selling produce on the side of the road. Me, him, and 2 of his friends went to pick up a few hundred watermelons. I was 9 or 10 yrs old. Of course I got stuck riding in the back of a box truck with a floor lined in straw. I knew there wasn’t anything that was going to get him to stop, plus there was no way to communicate with him either. I also knew I was going to have to clean the shit up. So I busted open a melon and hollowed it out the best I could, I used another melon to squat over. Then proceeded to shit into a hollowed out bowl of watermelon rind, traveling down the highway.
Of course I got bitched at for ruining a .75 cent watermelon an hour later.
On Top of Mount Kilimanjaro or in my dentists garden, not sure which is weirder
From all the way up in a tree, crouching on a branch. We were kids playing in the forest and that tree was our designated toilet tree.
Avengers Campus at Disney California Adventure. They play the Avengers music loud on loop in the area, blaring like you’re about to save the world from Thanos.
One time, I was about to embark on a humble human endeavor in the restroom. But the universe, as twisted as Loki’s, had a glorious purpose for me. As I settled into a stall, the relentless Avengers anthem enveloped the restroom, not missing a single heroic note. It was as if Thanos himself was challenging me to an infinity war, with each flush a battle for the ages. There I sat, in the most epic showdown of my life, every move more monumental than Thor’s Storm-breaker strike.
10/10 recommend for Marvel fans. Like I was in a never ending boss fight, one heroic flush at a time.
Behind a service center waiting for them to open. I stacked three tires and used a newspaper to wipe. Desperate times.
Spring 2016, after a long ruck march while on exercise in the army, we returned to our camp. First thing I see when I pulled up our netting to get inside an undercover area is our storesman taking a crap in a portable toilet bucket. Sorry for intruding, Ray
😂
On the motorway to the airport. Was being driven up with gf and her dad was driving. Was getting awful cramps from eating 10 sausage rolls the day before (I have a bad reaction to eating pork but still take the chance)
On the way up getting g awful cramps I was watching the GPS and seeing the minutes go down thinking we aren’t far from airport and I could make it. He takes a turn on the roundabout and its back to over an hour away to the airport.
I start freaking out and he had to pull in on the motorway at 4AM. I run up and down but find a nice lil Bush to hide into and let loose.
It was just a constant stream coming out as I’m going a tourist bus drives by and some Chinese tourist who probably couldn’t sleep and was just staring out the window locked eyes with me as it drove past. Felt like it was just me and him and me sitting for that brief moment in time
Class field trip to paintball, Plopped a massive one on the shooting range in the middle of the night while everyone was sleeping. When we got up to play on the range everyone huddled around my massive shit wondering what animal could have done it 🤣 I wasn’t proud but when ya gotta go ya gotta go.
In the ocean when I was a kid about seven years old. I didn’t want to go up the hill to the amenities block as they are stinky horrible places. I swam away from my family, pulled my pants down and laid a big “blind mullet”. Unfortunately it floated to the surface, and as I tried to move away from it, the vortex of the water sucked closer towards me, and my father, who wondered why i was panicking. I had to grab it with my hand and thrust it underwater to pretend nothing happened.
Gulf of Mexico.
Snorkeling around a large group of people.
It was coming out no matter what I did so I dropped my trunks, did my best squid impression, and swam like hell back to the boat.
On the swim back, every time my brother looked at me, he’d laugh so hard he’d go under a little.
This is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me and it’s not even close.
I was in Vietnam getting a motorbike through the central highlands. In one weird stop there was a strange ceremony where rice wine was passed around a circle of people, with me being the only white guy. Next they passed around dog meat and I felt it would’ve been disrespectful to say no.
Needless to say I got very sick and needed the toilet very regularly. There’s not many toilets driving through the central highlands so I stopped in a forrest one time and took a dump in a large bomb crater from the Vietnam war. What made it even more strange was that my driver insisted on shitting into the crater with me while he looked at me in the eyes and laughed. I will never have a weirder shit.
Not me. But I was walking back from the shops with my mate. About half way on walk back to his he started needing to shit. 3/4 of the way we started running. We got literally 2 houses (the kind that are on quarter acre blocks and right next to each other) when he runs to the gutter, pulls his shorts down and starts shitting. I kept walking, but by god do those sounds still haunt me. Apparently the next day when he was riding to work he saw the owner of the house out the front hosing the gutter.
Still the funniest shit I know of
On a cliff in Croatia behind my car. When I turned around I saw a packed beach under me, watching…
Bondi Beach well actually the ocean at the front of it.
I was swimming out well past other swimmers with fins on, what with a lot of protein & quite a few sit ups before I went swimming, I started getting must go cramps, being well away from everyone I trod water, slipped down my swimming shorts & let go….up popped this enormous one piece protein packed floatee, like a nuclear sub breaching the surface.
I took off back to the shore towards the flags, but I got caught in the tide pulling me in & I glanced behind me & HMS Brown Log had slipped neatly in behind & was tracking me back in.
I felt a twinge of fear, kicked harder, but I couldn’t lose it.
As I got close to the flags with all the kids & parents splashing & having a fun beach day, I swerved away whilst the dreadnaught headed to make land right between the flag’s
I got out, fins off, jogged sportily up the beach, grabbed my towel, got straight in my car & drove home.
I checked the local paper that week after to see if it it got a mention
Oh I win this one.
I’ve worked in Telecom for almost 12 years now and I started out as a greenhand climbing cell towers. Let me just say that when you gotta go, you GOTTA go. So 100% travel in this industry is required which means lots of drive time and with that, comes gas station food.
I felt fine at the start of the day but around noon at approx 600’ in the air, it hit me like a TON of bricks. Idk if it’s just me but when the urge to shit hits that hard, my nipples get hard (weird AF, I know) and I get the chills up my spine.
I literally had to have the foreman send up a black trash bag on the rope because I didn’t have enough time to climb down, whipped my harness off and shoved my ass into the bag and shat in front of two co workers lol. TBF they were gazing off into the horizon but let’s be honest, I was only about 4-5 feet away from either of them so all the sounds and smells were intimate.
I saw this on a TV show where people write in based on some topic and the host and guests discuss the answers. I believe the topic this time was in what situation did you get away with something.
A man really had to take a dump but couldn’t find a bathroom. He decided a multi story car park might offer some privacy, so in his desperation he dropped his trousers between a couple of cars and did his business. As he was finishing up, he heard someone calling after their dog. He quickly pulled up his pants and moved away and hid. The dog found his poo and was eagerly sniffing it. The owner approached and said “Fido, bad dog.” The owner then took out a plastic bag to clean up. As he was picking it up, he remarked that his dog’s turds smelled like human feces.
When I was serving in the military, my team and I were walking through a river. The guy in front of me had to shit so he took of his pants and half squatted in a way that put his asshole on full display in front of my face. It was the only time in my life that i witnessed shit actively coming out of a grown mans asshole in all its glory.
Also same guy (separate occasion) took a shit as we were treading water and the log floated up and was chasing everyone around.