“What could be causing my boyfriend to cry during sex? #RelationshipAdvice #CryingDuringSex #EmotionalImpact #PhysicalStrain
Unexpected Reaction
During a recent intimate moment, my partner surprised me by bursting into tears. This left me confused and concerned, as he usually communicates openly about his emotions. I’m seeking advice on understanding this unexpected reaction.
Possible Influencing Factors
- Physical Struggles: He has been dealing with severe injuries and a lack of effective pain management, which has taken a toll on him physically and emotionally.
- Emotional Trauma: Despite a lack of known trauma, his upbringing and experiences as a professional athlete could be contributing to hidden emotional wounds.
- Communication Barrier: Despite our usual openness, he has been hesitant to talk about this incident, suggesting a deeper issue at play.
Seeking Community Insights
As we navigate this sensitive issue, I would appreciate advice and experiences from others who may have encountered similar situations. Your input could help me approach this conversation with compassion and understanding. Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. 🙏🏽
I think a lot of people are overthinking this, Hes just happy he had sex with his toddlerhood crush.
Is he gay?
Could be the weight of life, uncertainty of the future, stress of work, or other anxiety was building up. Normally sex is the one time a man can be fully present in the moment and escape all that stuff but if it’s mentally burdening him so much that he couldn’t even get momentary relief during sex then that could have easily been a moment when he realized he couldn’t handle it all. I would imagine it’s not uncommon for people trying to deal with depression.
Why don’t you just ask? I noticed you cry during sex. Is everything ok?
Maybe they’ve never been loved like this before.
Ok, this is weird, but I’ve cried during sex once before. The reason – for me at least- was a deep emotional connection. Deep love.
I know its not what you’re looking for but – Ask him. –
Only he knows the answer.
This is a deeply personal issue for him, all we can do is guess at whats wrong. If he refuses to open up when he’s usually very open, then let him keep it to himself, but continue to let him know you’re there for him no matter what. Some people just need time and the knowledge that they’re loved no matter what.
If you get angry at him, hes less likely to want to tell you.
Maybe it’s just that good. Tears of joy
Emotions can be very powerful
Probably pent up stuff.
I cry when certain music hits a certain note.
Prob pure happiness getting sex
It means you’re great in bed.
I think he broke his cock and it hurt.
Tbh sounds like he’s having a hard time and sex doesn’t fix hard times, it might have given him the release/vulnerability needed to process that difficulty.
I would be worried if things were going super duper well and a similar thing happened. As it stands, focus on helping with the recovery, a big negative external factor is draining on anyone.
I can share a very personal anecdote that may relate.
Sparing details… once upon a time I was very stressed. The most stressed and anxious I’ve ever been in my life. I am bad at expressing and processing emotions and one night I finally gave enough attention to something other than what was stressing me and my girlfriend at the time had sex with me.
Upon climaxing it was like a dam was opened up. I felt so many intense and conflicting emotions that I just burst into tears. Her holding me in the moments that’s followed is probably the safest I’ve ever felt.
He may not want to talk about it but I’m sure he appreciates you
Maybe not totally related, but my partner was extremely stressed for a week. She was basically forced to babysit her nieces for 24 hours. She cried on the drive home because her daughter wasn’t helping or doing her laundry(it was 4 days since she was told to). Then when we had to run errands together, she cried the entire drive because of how much work there was to do(we cleaned from 6pm until 11pm). She curled up and tried to hide her crying but she eventually just vented and let it all out during the drive. She absolutely hates being vulnerable and afterwards was mad that she cried. But it was good bonding.
This crying was him releasing his stress because he has no was to let it out. And he unintentionally did in a vulnerable moment.
You hit it just at the right spot 👌
pepper spray will do that
I’m sure this is less likely to be the reason but could he perhaps have cheated and feels immense guilt which all just came to be too much in this passionate moment? I hope that’s not the case but it’s where my mind wandered to as a possibility.
Have you tried using a smaller strap-on?
(On a more serious note: He’ll probably have a deeper understanding on why he cried than us random people on the internet)
He’s got pain in the brain.
How would I know bruh ask him, no offense.
Just ask him.
Literally nobody here can tell you. You need to talk to him, and it could mean that you need to wait for him to be willing to talk about it. He might not even know why it happened, yet.
My husband cried once during sex ,but it was a combination of us not being together for a while, I was wearing something sexy,had put on a special love song etc. He started bawling . I was thrown off at first but kept going with it. Best sex ever ! Later he said he just was overwhelmed with emotions because it was the first time he realized someone actually loved him so much, how meaningful our life has been together, how much crap we have been through and i still loved him and just how great I felt.
He has issues with his parents who cut him off like 16 years ago. He’s always struggled with feeling worthy of love. Crying during sex so I guess it had a little break through with feeling worthy of love.
happens sometimes. 🤷♀️
If you know it wasn’t out of guilt then I would think your bf would be honest with you as to why he cried. Maybe he doesn’t even know why he had a strong emotional reaction.
The ol’ crymax
Pussy so good
Nobody knows his mind but him, however I can speak to having been in this situation where I’ve broken down sobbing after sex.
There’s something happens like a dam bursting if you’ve been holding on to a lot of difficult emotions and not knowing how to process them properly. If there’s been a period of time without sex then he may have had a growing fear about still being loved or being able to perform or of disappointing you. This may have been a moment where he was able to let go of those fears and it’s resulted in an emotional outpouring where he let them all go and just having you there helped salve them.
Talking about it might be embarrassing or difficult as well if his fears relate to you, because by expressing those fears maybe he worries you will default to reassurance, so what he might be looking for are nonverbal reassurances. This could be one of them.
But I’m just spitballing ideas.
Maybe you grabbed his penis too hard?
Possibly he wanted desperately to be physically capable of sex, and was really crushed when he realized he wasn’t.
I don’t think it’s the sex. Maybe the release from sex burst the dam that he’s been holding up for a time now.
He needs to talk about it soon. He’s bottling up something. Maybe major news regarding his career I suppose.
serious question…homosexual?
It sounds like this was the first time being intimate in a bit? Maybe it was just being close and vulnerable that made the flood gates open.
Ask him.
I think this dude might have something he really wants to tell you.
Not a question anyone here can answer, really.
just be there
Is he LDS?
A few possibilities come to my mind.
1) trauma. Something triggered some old wounds that haven’t been resolved.
2) moved by the profound intimacy of sex with someone he cares deeply about
3) something weighty but unrelated to the immediate situation.
These are just naive guesses. As others have said the best thing is for him to share what is going on when he is ready. I think you did great to just hold and reassure him. I hope that all turns out well.
Possibly he felt his injuries during sex and he realized this might affect his entire life not just his professional career
First of all, you are such a good girlfriend. He’s lucky to have you😊. Second, like a few people said already I really dont think that its about the sex but probably a release from all the tension. He may have tried to initiate sex to take his mind off things or to try to reassure you that he was okay but was actually not. Either way, if he didn’t want to talk about it and its not something that usually happens, it may be too painful or overwhelming for him at the moment, but I’m sure that if it is that much of a deal he will eventually tell you. Some people (especially men) tend to suppress their emotions because they dont want to deal with it or because they dont feel in a safe place to express it (which I’m sure is not your case). Just let him decide when and if he wants to tell you. He may never tell you and thats okay! Everyone keeps some things private ❤️
Regarding trauma: It doesn’t have to be a big deal to be a big deal in someone’s mind. I have some stuff in my past that doesn’t seem huge, really even to me, but it has affected me in the same way during the same activities. Sometimes it’s about being in touch with it when you weren’t before, or realizing how it has actually affected your life. It’s not always the dramatic stuff.
There’s no shame in cry-maxing
I never thought I would comment on a post like this but I have oddly relevant feedback. You said he was operated on recently. Was he put under anesthesia? Sometimes it can cause depression, even months afterwards. I had surgery recently and about two weeks after surgery I was feeling angry, irritable and randomly bursting into tears. It turns out it’s fairly common especially if you already have problems with depression anxiety.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-takes-depression/202210/what-everyone-should-know-about-post-surgical-depression