Are you facing a difficult situation where you’ve been hiding your academic failures from your parents for years, and now you’re unsure of what to do as your graduation approaches? Do you need advice on how to come clean about your dishonesty and face the consequences? Learn how to navigate this challenging situation and find a solution that benefits everyone involved. #AcademicFailure #Dishonesty #FamilySecrets #CollegeProblems #GraduationAnxiety
Please don’t do anything to hurt yourself. Tell your parents what happened, own up to what you did, deal with the consequences, learn from this experience and be better next time. This is not the end of your life.
Is this a real post
You’re weird if you think your parents won’t understand. Tell your mom/dad. College is a waste of money/time anyways.
Being honest in these types of situations is extremely tough. I’ve been in a similar position and was surprised that my family came to my aid instead of shaming me or resenting me. The best case scenario is to be honest with your family before the graduation day in whatever way is feasible for you. For example, you may tell a family member you feel more open with first? I know it feels like the end, but there are still so many possibilities ahead of you and paths your life can take. Many of us come to this community because we feel hopeless and lost. You are not alone in that regard. Please take a moment to think about the people you haven’t met yet and the places you haven’t been. Take this experience to help others in your tough position in the future. It’s not the end. You can choose now to change the course of your life.
You are so young, your story is only beginning and you have definitely not defined yourself as a person yet! I dropped out of school to gamble, did ok for a few years, and then lost everything behind my wife’s back and kept it from her for over a year. A year later I went back to school, 7 years later I had 2 degrees and a good job, now 16 years later we have two kids and an upper middle class lifestyle that we love. Failure is the only way to learn, and as long as you learn from it and don’t give up, its always temporary.
Try hard drugs
My brother committed suicide and I PROMISE you leaving is not what your parents would prefer. It’s an out for you, but will leave them and everyone else you know with a lifetime of suffering. You made mistakes, but there’s so many people who have fucked up in ways way worse than you could think who rebuild their lives. Tell your parents everything including your thoughts of harming yourself. They need to know so they can help support you. Leaving them is WAY worse than the amount of issues you think you’ve caused for them.
Just sent you a PM! Don’t do anything to hurt yourself and I’d love to help
I heard the army is offering a $40k quick ship bonus rn
The adderall won’t kill you— if it does, the death will be long enough that you are able to tell your parents when your heart gives. It’ll be much more difficult when you’re having to tell this secret to them when you have activated charcoal coating your mouth because you just finished vomiting in the ER. I promise, this will be forever till it’s not but a small paragraph in your story the sooner you tell them. I’d preface by what you said in the tail end of your post to them before dropping the “bomb”. I feel they will have an overwhelming amount of guilt and believed they caused this— I do believe you and your family will grow from this.
Honestly, if you look at this from a different angle, this is brilliant and could be a movie. I realize that doesn’t help you in the moment. I wish I had encouraging words to say, but I know you have a bit of a difficult path ahead here. Truly wishing you the best of luck.
No turning back now. Fake the degree
how old are you ?
Your parents will love you no matter what. Do not do anything to harm yourself. It is better to start from the ground up than to not start at all. If you were 18 in 2020, that means you’re 22 at most and there will be SO much more life to live. As a 25 year old man who has 50,000 in student loans and is now working in the trades at the lowest paid position after years of dropping out and attending school for NOTHINF, I can relate a bit. IT IS BETTER TO START FROM THE BOTTOM THAN NOT AT ALL. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. dm me if you would like.
You can change your behavior, while it will be difficult your parents love you so much, and if you were my son we would have a big discussion about honesty, but we would help you find a new way, probably with additional supervision until you proved you were devoted to changing instead of hurting yourself. You are worthy and deserve forgiveness. Starting over as an adult is not so bad. Especially if you are under 35. Don’t feed into the shame just take a deep breath. We are not defined by our mistakes. We are defined by whether we are brave enough to change them and do better as people.
Tell them you are going back to motherland India to start a rickshaw business
honey you’re gonna be okay. tell your parents the truth. you’re a good person and just a human being trying your best. life is full of ups and downs and there are lots of ups waiting for you. you don’t sound like a selfish pig. you sound like you’ve been going through a hard time. you’re going to get through this. stay here, it will get better
I’m a parent and as a parent I can say parents are on your band wagon. If you’re doing well we’re there to encourage you and cheer you on. Like what your parents have been doing but if they knew you were struggling they’d also have your back. Tell your parents you failed some units or haven’t completed some, so can’t graduate yet. Let them know you’re struggling and defer uni till you’re ready. Honestly they won’t want you to throw away the study you have completed but they’ll have your back and cheer you on what ever direction you take.
Planning on kermitting the day before a day your parents are supposed to see a culmination of years of hard work WILL ONE HUNDRED PERCENT damage them beyond repair. PLEASE disregard that idea immediatley. None of the poor choices you have made up to this point will be anything close to the level of devastation that will cause them, and since you’ve said in your post that they love you a bunch, that would not be something you’d ever want to inflict upon them. My guess is that your parents are smarter than you give them credit for and have been waiting on you to tell them for a while, because it will show them that you are maturing and ready to accept whatever consequences will come on to you. You have to tell them. Rehearse the speech you plan to give them, try to think through the different questions they will ask. Going in, be sure to remember they will be hurt by this, but it’s not something they won’t be able to get over. The mainly reason they will be upset is because you kept this from them. Money is nothing to parents compared to the life of their kids that they love more than anything. Please do not even consider kermitting, brother.
Can I tell you how many other students have done this? I work at a college in Florida and cannot tell you how many times parents have sent us messages on social media — or emails to the president’s office — demanding to know where their graduation tickets are, when their child is hiding that he or she dropped out of school.
Let me reassure you: This is not the end. It is the beginning of figuring out who you are. if you want to go back to school, pay for it yourself. Even if you have totally screwed up
your GPA, most community colleges will take you — and maybe you can figure out your path.
Almost all the parents i have dealt with suspected something was up but were hoping they were wrong. Maybe your parents know too — or maybe they don’t. In any case, I hope they will love you and wish only the best for you.
If you are really looking for a way out without telling the straight truth, tell them that instead, you were caught cheating with AI, and it was because the pressure to keep your grades up got to you or something because they are immigrants who have put all their time and energy into you and your dreams and that you didn’t want to disappoint them. You explained this to your college, and they understood, and now you have to retake a few classes and will be graduating with a delay, but it is not the worst because this information stays private within the school, meaning employers won’t know about it, and that the classes you have to retake have newer course material from a curriculum change so you’ll be ahead of your peers by the end of making up the classes.
Since you “pay” your own college, this shouldn’t financially impact them and really just change their planning time which, if they care about your dreams and professional goals, they would support this silver lining that came from your “college” and “professors” understanding the pressure that comes with an immigrants dream.
Then, start taking classes part-time and catch up. Instead of gambling, join a Discord study group. They can be just as addictive when you see how other people use their goals as their dopamine hits. There are also study Discord groups that play games together, so you can feel like you can have fun with people who will still help you achieve your goals.
I believe you feel bad and that the pressure of life has caught up to you and that you lied to everyone instead of talking about it. Your parents wanted you to live a better life, and you jumped in too deep. If you are truly concerned that they will look down on you for your decision to completely up and quit after your first few semesters, then this white lie would be better than what you are currently suggesting regarding your medication, in my opinion.
I believe you can do it if you set your mind to it and ask for help when needed. Again, Discord communities can be helpful for studying. If you need more time, say you switched majors at the suggestion of a professor when retaking classes who saw potential in you for higher paying opportunities not impacted by AI.
When they follow up on your new graduation walk date, tell them it is a process to earn your credits back and that you need to do probation training in between semesters or something, which makes it a bit longer– or that you needed a few different credits now for the major switch, but it is worth it because you are happy and your professors love you. These are all things that should resonate well with immigrant parents. If you’ve kept up this intricate lie for 4 years, you can try this half-and-half life next to start to unravel yourself from this web of lies you’ve started so that you can finally start living in the truth.
When your real graduation date comes around, say your professors can’t make it or don’t attend student parties for health reasons (they are worried about COVID, flu, etc.) and the actual ceremony is already enough people all together at once.
This isn’t an ideal solution, but it is a solution that might work for you instead of just Ctrl+Alt+Deleting all your options at once. Sorry for the novel; I just feel terrible for you and know that your leaving is not the way to go.
Man, as long as you’re alive and healthy.. you can always start over irrespective of the age. Please don’t feel bad but just learn from this experience and be true to yourself. Don’t even think of committing something that would leave a lasting impact on your parent’s life. Life is fun, don’t take it personal and at the same time don’t let down your parents as they’re the only people you can trust and rely upon any day.
This is not end of the world and shall pass. Just plan to let your parents know. If you have a plan, let them know.. if not ask them to help with next steps. All the very best.
Don’t commit. That’s never the answer to any problems because it only causes more and there’s ALWAYS a better choice than that. Being honest in this situation is my first piece of advice and I think it’ll open you guys to a deep conversation to connect with each other and the truth will spill out. You can even open up to them little by little, ease into it so it’ll be easier for you and them. Youd have to promise them (and yourself) that you’ll get everything together for real and it’ll be like opening up your life to the next chapter- pulling yourself back together. If it really comes down to it, see if you can play it off that youre gonna restart for a completely different degree and you feel extremely adamant about this idea and you’ll find so much more success going through that different route. These are just my 2 cents. But really, just like everyone else says here and in the WHOLE world, don’t commit. Things can get better but it will not fix anything if you commit and in fact it’ll make things worse for the people around you that love and care. Stay safe man I really hope the best for you
Don’t end your life man it’s never the answer, you not only would b ruining your life but the ppl around u who love you. Be honest with them and explore different school or work options, life will get better
It’s a rough spot but not so bad you can’t get yourself out of it. Try to get yourself to therapy, or even emergency care if you’re feeling at the end of your rope. Having a neutral third party to help guide you through this seems like it’d be a good idea. Suicidal thoughts are no joke, especially when you have a plan, and you’ve done nothing so bad that you “deserve” or should put up with feeling so miserable. You have a job, you’ve realized your errors, you can move up from here. No matter how your parents react, you can still have a good and decent future ahead of you. You’re young, and you can turn things around. Try to be forgiving towards yourself, you’re not a horrible person for having struggled, and living with this pressure and lie for years must’ve taken a toll. Get yourself professional help, forgive yourself, and start taking steps towards a life both you and your parents can be proud of in the future.
i truly feel like you are SO young. i believe there are no mistakes you cannot fix if you are honest and truly want to grow and mend, and it sounds like you’re taking steps in that direction. i am wishing you the very best.
My partner kinda did something like this except in highschool. Minus faking grades, he out right dropped out in the end. He was 15, he is 27 now and in his DREAM career. It took him some time yes, was his parents upset? No. And Im sure after your parents think for a while they will be more happy you came clean, and did not hurt yourself.
If my son did this I would be more interested in the reasoning for him wasting 4 years vs the fact he lied. Mental health is very serious. I wish the best for you
Man hang in there. You’re still young, and tons of people don’t finish school till later in life. I’m talking 30-40 even 50+. You may not be where you exactly want to be right now, but your also the only one that can change that. Also tons of ways to be successful even without a degree. Certain trades or Military can all provide great pathways+pays and will even cover your education. Certain trades can even allow you to open your own business someday and really make big bucks.
Come clean with your parents as they at least have the right know. I’m sure they won’t be thrilled or shocked initially but that’s normal. They’ll come around, you’re still their child. You said they worked hard in this life to get where they are. Things wayyy harder than this, in the grand scheme this isn’t life ending or altering matter at all. Their not going to throw that away because you made a bad choice when you were young.
Once you come clean, you do all you can to make it up to them. I would recommend as soon as everyone has had time to digest the news, to sit down with them and come up with a plan. Whether that be continuing your work and paying rent/bills. Offer to help pick up extra chores or make yourself of use, I’m sure there’s something. Time heals all.
Don’t kill yourself that’s even dumber than what you did. As a dad I’d waste all my money if it meant they were alive.
Bro you’re fine. Man up and tell them. It’s a tough situation but you’ll get through it and it will build character. You’re way too young. Your story has only just started. Redemption arc starts now.
No matter what you have done or not done, you are worthy of love.
My parents have wanted me to be an engineer my whole life(I am 36 now). I resisted and dropped out of college in my first semester to try and start a business with the dream of earning a 6 figure income to make my parents proud. At this point I’ve had more jobs than anyone I know and have had many failed and no successful businesses.
About 18 months ago I finally completed a coding bootcamp and finally became an engineer as my parents always wanted and started earning my dream 6 figures. I thought that was it. I was finally going to make my parents proud and feel successful in life. What ended up happening instead is me experiencing severe anxiety and depression, drinking almost daily to cope with the stress of my job, ER visits thinking I was having a heart attack but it was only axiety, gained weight, felt like shit. The truth about my job that is hard to explain, is that I do not know what I am doing. I’ve only made it this far, because somewhat like you, I’ve been pretending. Pretending I like this and know how to do it but the reality is that I am horrible at it and can only get by because I depend so much on my peers to do my work for me but I am somehow good at getting by.
The point of this story is that I knew I didn’t want to do this. But I did it anyways. I have a beautiful wife and two kids and even with that I contemplated ending my life many times. The reason we get to this level of thoughts and symptoms is because we are not being authentic to who we are and living our life trying to be the person we think the world(mostly our parents) wants us to be. The moment you realize how much you are hiding your authetic self is the moment your life can truly begin. At least that’s what happened with me(after a lot of self-exploration).
Deep in our heart and souls there are things we desire and think about doing but they either seem way out of our reach or we think going after those things are going to take us away from being accepted by those we care about. Telling my parents I was quitting my engineering job and moving my family back to the country/town they fought so hard to bring us away from is one of the hardest things I’ve had to face in my life. But my soul felt free and felt like my life was just begining.
Tell your parents the truth. It will be fucking hard but our mind exaggerates how painful things will be. In no time you’ll look back at this moment and won’t believe it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.
Best of luck. Feel free to DM if you need any additional support.
Parent here. Please PLEASE do not hurt yourself. Please don’t. The pain caused will be incalculable. Your parents clearly care deeply about you and will continue to prove that when you tell them this story. Find a way with them to move forward together.