“Is it reasonable for a girl to ask me to go by a different name because it’s the same as her ex husband? I matched with her on a dating app and we’ve been talking for 2 months. She keeps making comments about hating my first name and wants me to use a different one. I offered nicknames or initials but she’s not happy. Am I wrong for refusing to change my name? #DatingDrama #ExHusbandName #RelationshipComplications”
Key Points:
– Dating a girl who dislikes my name
– Refusing to go by a different name
– Seeking advice on how to handle the situation
Questions to Consider:
– How important is my name to my identity?
– Is it reasonable for her to ask me to change?
– What compromises can be made in this situation?
NTA. It’s your name. She could just not talk to you. Simple. It’s not that deep.
NTA
She should’ve cut you off when she found out your real name – it’s clearly a dealbreaker for her. Do yourself a favor: Be happy with your name and do what she didn’t.
NTA
She’s got issues, Cut her loose
NTA. I get that it’s weird, but that’s also entirely her problem
NTA, she has some weird issues and you need to leave. She is effectively wanting to take away who *you* are, the name you’ve been known by for over 20 years, because of an ex who she was with probably for only a few? That’s bonkers.
If you stay with her, understand that you’ll be living with a new name/nickname/unwanted name. Just say no. If she can’t accept it, then there is your answer for how this relationship is going to pan out.
NTA, she clearly has issues that she needs to sort out before getting into a new relationship. If her exs name is causing her so much distress that she wants a person with the same name to change their name, that’s an unrealistic expectation of other humans. She needs to make the effort to get some therapy. I really hope she does because life’s to short to live with such trauma, but this isn’t something for you to fix. You did nothing wrong and you have every right to keep using your name.
NTA but you need to walk away
NTA but she has some serious issues. If her ex has so much power on her and she holds this much resentment towards him, I would stay away from her. Your name is part of who you are and her requirements are impossible and to be honest embarrassing. If my bf wouldn’t like people to know my name, he would not be part of my life for that long.
She needs some alone time before she starts to date again.
NTA. It’s her problem to deal with. Maybe get some therapy. You can’t go around telling people to use a different name because you personally have a negative association with their name.
NTA. She has issues but that’s on her not you. Get out before it gets serious.
NTA, imagine how the relationship would go if you give into her on this.
NTA
Her reaction is a red flag. Best to pass on this one, unless you plan on spending the rest of your life with her under an alias
NTA. This woman seems like a creep weirdo who totally shouldn’t be in a new relationship at this point. Also seems to be entitled beyond imagination. If she doesn’t cut out the bs I’d seriously reconsider seeing her any longer.
She is asking you to change your name after ONLY 2 months. What else will you have to change as this relationship progresses? Will she ask you to take on her last name, cause you changed your name for me, why not ise my last name to !!!!
Names matter. So wont work.
I lost instant interest in a guy with the same name as my son. Just no way that could work 😂
NTA…but do you really want to deal with her baggage over your name?
That woman is entitled and has emotional issues.
Just save yourself and run.
NTA
You’ve only been dating 8 weeks. Sounds to me like she’s simply not over her ex. NTA.
For what it’s worth – my ex and my current partner have the same name and tbh I’ve never thought twice about it, it’s fairly common, it’s gonna happen sometimes!’ NTA.
No, she’s the weirdo here. She is being totally unreasonable.
NTA, this girl isn’t worth it. This relationship has no future.
Easy. Tell her she needs to change her name because she shares a name with some crazy date that wanted you to change your name for her. NTA
NTA
F that nonsense
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
GTFO NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
Why are you still talking to this woman? Stop wasting time and move on now. Next!!
Why are you entertaining this? The moment she gave you attitude, as you say, cut you off once she found out your name, was the point you should have removed yourself from that situation, walked away and never looked back. Now you can see why she got divorced. Life’s too short to be dealing with bullshit. Keep it moving.
For everyone saying she has an issue. Well yeah but also.. if the genders were reversed people would rightfully point out that this is how abuse often starts. This is pretty sinister. If you let her cajole you into accommodating her on such a frivolous request at the cost of effectively changing who you are… that shows her that she can push you around and make you bend.
She is showing you who she is. It isn’t pretty. Run!