#RelationshipAdvice #TrustIssues #Forgiveness #Cheating #LoveAndRelationships
Hey there! So, you’ve found yourself in a pretty challenging situation, huh? Trust me, I totally get it. It’s not easy to navigate through these kinds of relationship issues, especially when you’ve been with someone for so long. But hey, that’s what I’m here for – to offer you some insight, advice, and hopefully a sense of direction.
First of all, let’s address the elephant in the room: can you forgive something like this? It’s a tough question, and there’s no right or wrong answer here. Forgiveness is a deeply personal and individual process, and it’s totally okay to take your time to figure out what’s best for you. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and not rush into a decision just to satisfy others or to avoid conflict.
Now, let’s dig a little deeper into your situation and break it down into some key points to consider:
### Trust and Betrayal
– You’ve been in a relationship for nearly 5 years, and trust has been a fundamental aspect of that. It’s understandable that this betrayal has rocked the foundation of your trust in your boyfriend.
– Betrayal can cause a lot of emotional pain and turmoil, and it’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions like anger, sadness, and confusion.
### Communication and Transparency
– Open and honest communication is key in any relationship, especially in moments of crisis. Have you had a chance to have a calm and honest conversation with your boyfriend about what happened?
– Transparency is crucial. It’s essential that your boyfriend is open and forthcoming about the events that transpired and his intentions.
### Forgiveness and Healing
– Forgiveness is a process, not a one-time decision. It’s okay to feel conflicted or unsure about whether you can forgive and move forward from this.
– Healing takes time, and it’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being. Don’t rush the healing process, and don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or even a professional counselor or therapist.
### Self-Reflection and Boundaries
– Take some time for self-reflection. What are your non-negotiable boundaries in a relationship? Have those boundaries been violated, and how does that impact your view of the relationship?
– It’s crucial to evaluate what you truly need and expect from a partner, and to ensure that your boundaries are respected.
### Advice from the Bhagavad Gita
In the Bhagavad Gita, there’s a powerful concept of detachment and discernment. It teaches us to detach from the outcomes of our actions and to focus on making wise and virtuous choices. This can be incredibly relevant in times of emotional turmoil, as it encourages us to make decisions from a place of clarity and wisdom rather than reactive emotions.
In conclusion, only you can ultimately decide whether forgiveness is possible in your situation. It’s okay to seek guidance and support in navigating this complex terrain. Trust your intuition, take your time, and prioritize your emotional well-being. You deserve honesty, respect, and a sense of peace in your relationship, and it’s important to hold onto those values as you move forward.
Remember, you’re not alone in this. Stay strong and take care of yourself. 💖
It’s exactly what you think it is. He owns a phone charger. You know he’s lying to you. What did she even help him with? He didn’t invite her over to show appreciation. He invited her over to show her his penis.
He’s gaslighting you. You saw her in bed with your own eyes. He says she was only ever on the couch. Maybe you could work through it had he come clean, but he’s still lying to you.
And the phone dying on that same day is not suspicious? I have a hard time believing this is his first or second time doing this. I despise cheaters and their reasonings so it would be an easy decision for me to leave. It will probably hurt at the beginning, but better that than getting hurt throughout, your whole relationship.
Wow you know the truth just leave his ass
Exit stage left, he’s likely runnin game on you. Figures if you accept his explanation, there’s potential to keep doing his shananigans in future.
First off BULLSHIT I’m SURE he’s got a charger in the house or maybe a landline? If not he could have absolutely used his hook-ups phone if it was really innocent 🤷🏻♀️
Or even the buddy that was supposedly theres phone (he didn’t because he WASN’T there!)
If I cared to gain the truth, I’d Call the buddy that left and ask a few questions:
Was he with BF last night -if yes then
What did they do/where did they go? If he gives basically similar answer then
When did he get there/leave
Who was with them? If can answer then What did BF help girl with? (They would have discussed it since that’s the reason they were together)
Then I’d ask what the girl looked like/ what was she wearing? Etc because if he really was there he would know
Keep firing questions and you’ll get your answers~ unfortunately for you it’s probably not going to be the answers you’re looking for.
Good luck
One more thing… was there evidence of someone sleeping on the couch? Blanket sheets, pillows, shoes, phone, tablet, bottle of water? whatever you normally have near you.
Also… do you have a key? Did you walk and he was scrambling to get to the door and she was in his room? Or did you have to knock on his door? Why was he hiding her from you by not letting you see for yourself? Maybe giving her a chance to put clothes on and “act natural” hence the laying on the bed
Updateme!
He’s full of shit. Break up with him
If you stay then don’t complain when he does it again. Anyone who would believe this fairytale is an idiot.
Get anything you have at his place and block him. Make sure she knows he cheated on you. I’m sure she has no idea you even existed.
Do yall share locations?? Or does he have any social media that’ll show his activity??
I would guess he’s letting it die so you don’t know where he is.
But please don’t be silly. He’s unreachable and you go over and find a woman in his bed. There’s no way that’s innocent.
PLEASE get tested for STDs and do not sleep with him. You can not trust that he is clean
Please tell me you’re not naive enough to believe this crock ‘o shit.
Nope. He cheated on you and is now lying to you. You’ll get over the end of your relationship quicker if you leave now, rather than waste more years with him and then find out he’s cheated on you again.
if you don’t break up, you will be the biggest loser sis.
Listen – it doesn’t matter what happened…
If she was coming over for whatever reason, if she helped him with something, if she fell asleep – he should have told you. Don’t believe the phone story… He purposely didn’t want you to know because he knew that this was in no way compatible with his relationship with you…
It’s the lying you should note – that’s the betrayal!
If you believe this I have snake oil to sell you
So he can get drunk with her and bring her home, have friends over but not use anyone eles cell phone to call you? Even if he didn’t full on cheat, SOMETHING went down that he knew you wouldn’t be able to forgive. He panicked and tried to HIDE HER FROM YOU. Why couldn’t one of his friends give her a ride? Who let’s some rando sleep at their place?
It’s your choice to try to work through it or leave, but you aren’t getting the whole truth, that’s for sure.
If you stay with him, this will be in the back of your mind any time you’re not with him and can’t get ahold of him. Is that something you could see yourself feeling and emotionally dealing with even for the next year or two?
I think OP did think something was up. She said she called him all through the night. She wouldn’t have been doing that to make sure he got up in the morning. She was doing that because rightly she felt in her gut that something was off.
So she got up early and went over there and sure enough
But what don’t understand is why she didn’t ask the woman?
Someone confessing to cheating is so much better than being found out… And it wasn’t a one night stand. Dude is comfortable lying to you over and over again
The one thing all cheaters have in common is that they ALL lie about it and deny what they’re doing.
You’re not actually believing him, are you?
He’s a lying piece of trash. Stay strong and block him on EVERYTHING. He obviously owns a phone charger. This is probably just the first time he got caught.
UpdateMe
Girl he is lying to your face. Have some self respect and get the hell out. Don’t let him see you cry, vanish from his life and heal yourself in private. There is nothing he can offer you at this point
She was in his bed bc he slept with her and it’s not the first time with her.. many layers of betrayal here. Get tested for sti’s too. I’m sorry
Pfft. His phone died so he can’t answer it at the very same time he has a woman spend the night? Riiiiiight.
You don’t bring a girl home from a bar to talk about how amazing your girlfriend. Even if that were true (and it’s not), it’s so incredibly disrespectful to bring another woman home in the first place. Go find a man who would never put you in this situation to begin with.