#FinancialBetrayal #ExGirlfriendIssues #LoveLost #FinancialRecovery #MovingOnFromToxicRelationships
Feeling Betrayed and Lost
Imagine finding out that your ex-girlfriend spent over $30,000 of your hard-earned money on Amazon and DoorDash without your knowledge over a 3-year period. That’s the situation I found myself in, and it left me feeling devastated and betrayed. We had remained friends after breaking up, and I never realized the extent of her financial abuse until recently. This betrayal not only hurt me emotionally but also hit me hard financially. I had no idea how to handle this situation or what steps to take next.
Recognizing the Problem
I admit that I’m terrible at keeping track of my finances. I have a typical checking account where my paychecks are directly deposited, and my credit cards are set up for auto-payments. I never bothered to check my bank statements regularly. When my ex-girlfriend was still in my life, she frequently used my debit card, which was saved on her iOS devices. I was unaware of the significant amounts she was spending behind my back until it was too late. It was a harsh wake-up call.
Seeking Solutions
- Report Fraudulent Charges: As soon as you discover unauthorized transactions, report them to your bank or credit card company. They can investigate the charges and help you dispute them.
- Change Account Information: Remove your ex-girlfriend’s access to your accounts and change all passwords and security settings to prevent further unauthorized transactions.
- Consider Legal Action: If the financial abuse was severe, you may want to consult with a lawyer to explore your options for legal recourse.
- Seek Counseling: Dealing with financial betrayal can take an emotional toll on you. Consider seeking therapy or counseling to process your feelings and heal from the experience.
- Learn from the Experience: Use this ordeal as a learning opportunity to become more vigilant about your finances. Regularly monitor your accounts and set up alerts social.
Conclusion
Being used for financial gain by someone you trusted can leave deep emotional scars. It’s essential to take proactive steps to address the situation, protect yourself from future harm, and heal from the betrayal. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate through this challenging time. Stay strong, prioritize your well-being, and emerge from this experience wiser and more resilient than before.
Was she doing this with your permission?
If she was just a gf, not engaged or married, she had no legal authorization to use your cards or save the information to her phone or any other device. I’d get an attorney involved, you could recoup your losses in addition to having her charged with identity theft and fraud
This seems like primarily a civil issue based on the information provided so far. You would sue, and you would seek a judgement against her for the amount you believe she owes you.
This is absolutely theft.
Talk to the local FBI office. This could be wire fraud. $30K might be enough for them to care.
This is considered financial card theft and is a felony at any level. How do I know this? Unfortunately my teenager used someone else’s card to purchase glove glue for soccer, $16.25 total. He now has a felony against him currently.
Have you reached out to her? I wonder if it’s worth telling her you found out and plan on pressing charges unless she pays you back immediately
Did you confront her about the spending?
Did you just cut it off?
You said cut it off months ago..so a little strange to start pressing charges now? Why now?
Anyways go to your police station file a police report regarding these charges open up a case go from there
Is there a potential she didn’t know it was being billed to you? I once found out my Apple Pay was charging my ex-husband’s card. I had no idea at all and was mortified because of the charge that triggered him mentioning it to me.
Have you asked her to pay you back? What was her response?
It sucks that happened! That money properly invested could have went a long way. You seem very fortunate in life, don’t let this get you down, not many people can say they “didn’t notice” that large a sum just going missing lol.
Maybe you got a small wiener? Nah
You probably packin too! Chin up fella
Post alone says it all brother. You should have noticed. That’s on you.
Good brag!
Well it sounds like you’ve identified your problem: you were ignorant about your own finances. You NEED to be regularly checking your bank account. I hope you can learn from this and I’m sorry it happened. That’s super shitty of her.
Legally, she owes you however much she spent using your card info without authorization.
But the banks will probably tell you too bad so sad because you willfully shared your financial information with someone else.
The only option is through direct legal means if she refuses to compensate for the money she spent.
OP, your story doesn’t make sense. If you want any chance of getting any percent of your money back, you’re going to have to get your facts straight. Or even for just getting her in trouble.
Like someone else said. You put a stop to it months ago. So why, after all this time. The sudden interest in reporting this?
You may very well be learning an extremely expensive lesson on changing your account security details as well as checking your card balances.
Stop being so dumb, good luck
Controversial take – Explain the situation to her politely and share with her the evidence of the transactions and total dollar figure. State the total is $30k, and ask her to pay back 2/3rds of that ($20k), and in return, you won’t pursue things criminally or in civil court. If she refuses verbally initially, send a demand letter via certified mail with the offer and a deadline to respond.
If she doesn’t respond by the deadline, take her to civil court and sue for the full amount of $30k.
Note that in the US, you can’t get blood from a stone, meaning, if she’s broke, this is all a waste of time. She has to have assets or income for you to collect against, and you have to be willing to take it that far if you bring it to the court system.
How do you NOT notice 10k yearly being missing from your account?
I notice $15 and I go crazy until I find out why.
lol you fucked up
This sounds like a crime. She had to know and not care about you. I’d gamble she maintained your “friendship” just so she had this free line of spending. I’d confront her about it and come up with a repayment plan, then never speak to her again. Or go full nuclear and sue and never speak to her again.
Not a Lawyer, but have more experience than I ever wanted working on financial fraud cases. Get an accountant to go through all your financial records to find out what wasn’t authorized. She might have done damage elsewhere as well. Take evidence (keep copies) to police and file a report. Follow up with cops on status of report. Follow up with DA’s office by asking them if they’ve received the report from cops. No promises anything gets filed, but at least there’s a report. I think statutes of limitation are sometimes different/flexible when it comes to financial crimes.
You didn’t notice that in 3 years. Didn’t you get any credit card bills or online notifications about purchases. Now remember courts will see this if you take her to the court. You must be head over heels in love. Good Luck
Nobody is going to believe you when you say she spent 30k in 3 years and you didn’t notice. That’s ridiculous.
Your going to have to eat this mess dude, hard pill to swallow but really…. 30k and you didn’t notice. I mean everyone has to look at a statement or account at some point throughout the year. (years??) Nobody will press charges for this, assuming she may not even be collectable, and then there’s he said she said. Suck it up and move on, and please… even an occasional look at your accounts can save you some serious issues in the future.
This is lawsuit territory.
Seek legal advice, credit card you may be able to however debit might not.
Were u using them at the same time or were they earmarked for bills.
Worth paying a visit or a call to a mid tier law firm for their initial assessment. Be clear I what had happened categorise the transacrions into personal benefit vs mutually beneficial. What you want to recover and charges that you are able to press and under what law has the greatest chances vs timw it’ll take to recover and resolve.
I have a feeling it’ll be rather tenuous and a lengthy processes to convince theft vs a gift ‘she may counter ‘ which will be difficult to ascertain.
If you can afford the best go for it. A stonefly worded letter written by a top tier law firm never fails to be heard.
Never seen so many clueless people giving advice before. Obviously you need to avoid all advice given in this thread and seek counsel from an attorney.
$10k a year is about normal girl expense