#olderVirgin #datingStruggles #sexualFrustration
Feeling like an older virgin can be a tough and lonely place to be. You may feel like you’re missing out on life experiences and struggling to navigate the dating world. But fret not, you’re not alone in feeling this way. In fact, there are many others who are in a similar situation as you. So, let’s break down some tips and strategies to help you change this narrative and improve your dating life.
##Understanding Your Feelings
Before diving into ways to change your situation, it’s important to acknowledge and understand your feelings of frustration and loneliness. It’s completely normal to feel this way, especially when societal pressures and expectations come into play. Remember that everyone’s journey is different, and there is no timeline for when you should have your first sexual experience or relationship.
##Building Confidence
Confidence plays a huge role in how you present yourself and interact with others. Here are some tips to help boost your confidence:
– Practice self-care and grooming to feel good about yourself.
– Focus on your strengths and positive attributes.
– Set small goals to step out of your comfort zone and build self-assurance.
– Surround yourself with supportive friends and socialize in different settings.
##Navigating Dating Apps
Dating apps can be a useful tool in meeting new people, but they can also be overwhelming and frustrating. Here are some tips for navigating dating apps effectively:
– Be honest and authentic in your profile.
– Engage in meaningful conversations rather than just sending generic messages.
– Don’t take rejection personally and remember that not everyone will be a match.
– Take breaks from dating apps if they start to feel draining or disheartening.
##Approaching Women
Approaching women can be nerve-wracking, but it’s important to remember that they are just people too. Here are some tips for approaching women respectfully:
– Start by making eye contact and smiling.
– Strike up a casual conversation about shared interests or observations.
– Ask for consent before making any physical advances.
– Practice active listening and show genuine interest in what she has to say.
##Learning About Flirting
Flirting is a subtle art that can help create chemistry and build attraction. Here are some tips for learning how to flirt:
– Use body language to convey interest, such as leaning in or mirroring their movements.
– Compliment them genuinely and show appreciation for their qualities.
– Tease them playfully to keep the conversation light and fun.
– Pay attention to their responses and adjust your approach accordingly.
##Seeking Professional Help
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck in your journey to change your situation, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance, support, and tools to help you navigate your feelings and improve your dating life.
Remember, it’s never too late to start exploring new opportunities and experiences. Take small steps towards building confidence, connecting with others, and learning about yourself along the way. You deserve to feel desired and fulfilled in your relationships, so don’t be afraid to take the first step towards making a change. You’ve got this! 💪🏼🌟
By implementing these strategies and tips, you can start to shift your mindset and approach towards dating in a more positive and empowered way. Don’t be afraid to seek help and support if needed, as everyone deserves to feel desired and connected in their relationships. Stay confident, stay positive, and remember that it’s never too late to make a change. Good luck on your journey towards finding love and fulfillment! 🌹💖
Netherlands
just my 2 cents. stop jerking off and stop watching porn. meditate and do breath work every day. the awkwardness will start to fade, your confidence, motivation, and mental clarity will grow. Im so serious. Do u have a job or some kind of hobby where there are women around you? even in a professional/semiprofessional capacity, i think even just interacting with women may allow u to become more comfortable around them.
The best way to attract women is to not try to attract women. The type of desperate thinking you have is literally women repellent (obviously I speak from personal experience).
Go to the gym, get a better job, and do social activities that you are interested in (ie clubs, classes, etc).
Btw I’m a 30 year old virgin, and I’m quite proud of it.
Had three 3-month relationships (2 in high school and 1 after graduating college). Was close to sex a few times but boy am I glad it didn’t happen. Potential risk of pregnancy, STDs, and bonding with a female I would get tired of.
I’d rather be single the rest of my life than have to deal with potential risk and (guaranteed) headache. As some people would say, ‘the juice is not worth the squeeze’.
And no, I’m not anti-relationship, I just don’t see the value of it in my life.
Also if you really want sex, just pay for it. It may or may not make your psyche even worse tho.
You know what’s interesting is that the first time I had sex I realized it really wasn’t that big of a deal and I felt silly ever feeling so obsessed over it. I get it though theres a bigger issue than just being sexually frustrated you probably have major self esteem issues and this is just a symptom of that. The way you are thinking right now though and I am going to be completely honest with you will never get you laid. Women can smell desperation almost instantly and its a major turn off. The first thing you need to do is work on yourself. Be honest with yourself are you an attractive person (obviously this is subjective) but are you putting in work for yourself like going to gym, wearing well fitting clothes, have good hygiene, have a nice haircut that matches your face. Also are you approaching girls way out of your league. Next thing is if you want to do better on dates work on eye contact, read books about conversation, learn how to ask girls the right questions to get them to open up more. Sex only comes from trust and you can’t rush that kind of connection. Sure sometimes on a drunken night you may get a one night stand but it’s not super super common this happens as much as you see in the movies.
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TLDR: Stop making sex this holy grail thing in your mind, think of it as a reward for being a good dude and being there for someone and building a real connection.
You miss 💯percent of the shots you don’t take
Viewing your lack of romantic success in a vacuum will never get you anywhere. What’s going on elsewhere in your life?
Get a hooker and get it out of the way
Maybe you should focus less on the sex, and more on the person and relationship?
Challenge for you: Give compliments to at least one stranger a day (and not creepy ones).
When you see someone you’re attracted to, give them the compliment of the day. Ask them on a harmless coffee date. Make them laugh. Get to know them.
I promise this will go further than focusing on sexual frustration, and will be productive. Might even want to look into a dating coach or therapist
It just means that you are stupid. You can not think about anything other than sex. Like an animal. Thank god we have people that think about other things than sex.
Focus on socializing and hobbies you enjoy and just generally making your life better. Sounds like your pretty hard on yourself so if you have any untreated mental health conditions get help with those. Keep trying and try lots of different things and it may take some time but you will feel better about yourself and opportunities will come. And as others have said getting laid won’t make your life better its not as big of a deal as some people make it out to be.
prostitutes’ bro. Be respectful pay them the full amount,. You’ve got a mental block you gotta get rid of.
You probably have autism.
Wow I thought the percentage would be higher than 1.9% I’m in the same boat though except 24, but it’s all my fault anyway.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
[this about covers it](https://youtu.be/8TL-K-dc4n4?si=gFmdIVIjqT95CM7B)
I’d give both my arms to have waited until I was 25.
I was your age when I started hitting up the dating apps. It’s scary yeah, but you’ll get the hang of it. Getting ignored/ghosted/insulted WILL 100% happen so just face the music and put yourself out there.
Your putting the cart before the horse unless you’re successful and making good money and have a nice car and your own place you shouldn’t worry about sex yet i know it sounds mean but its reality women aren’t gonna even look at you if your not on top of your game. Sex is only good if you really love the girl too and if everything in life is good i wouldnt want an awkward hookup and you shouldnt either especially if its just to say you did it save yourself for someone special.
You are turning it into this huge thing that it’s not. The right person will show up for you when it’s time. I was 28 when I first had sex, because I got married.
Just be thankful you don’t have an STD or got an unwanted pregnancy. When the time comes you will be glad it was with the right person. Don’t sweat it
It’s a confidence game; nobody needs to know. First time with a partner is awkward no matter how many times you’ve done it. Power forward, don’t look back
I know you’re in pain right now and you’ll never believe me but you have everything to be happy inside you. You don’t need someone to make you happy and in fact other people can’t make us happy.
What makes us happy is understanding ourselves, defining our standards and enjoying what the world gives us freely without having to change and contort ourselves to receive it.
If you’re not feeling the flow of extending yourself to other people, you’re not feeling it. Let that be and don’t judge yourself for it. Instead of hating on yourself, ask why other people aren’t making you feel comfortable or welcome. In examining that question you might find the answer to your lack of flow with people. It might be their coarseness turns you off or it might be something you’re doing needs to be adjusted to avoid attracting those negative responses.
But even if you’re alone and lonely, I would coach you to not feel so desperate without people to validate your life. Your life does not need the validation of other people. You are the validator of your life and you decide who’s cool and worth your effort and time until they show you otherwise. That doesn’t mean you be cruel to people but it doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you and be the gatekeepers of your happiness.
Do things that make yourself happy alone and anyone you click with later will just be icing.
Where are you even getting the 1.9% stat from anyways? Plenty of guys and girls lie on those sex surveys, the former lies/exaggerates about how much sex they’ve had and the latter lies downwards to lower their partner count. So even if you read this “stat” somewhere it: 1) likely isn’t true, 2) can never be truly verified. So why are you pressed about it?
Catch a cheap flight to Thailand.
What if I told you for $300 we can fix the virgin part?
Where are you pulling these statistics from?
I was a 30-year-old virgin and felt like you all my 20’s. I’m not sure if anything could have helped me other than me. Although I did find lots of help when I asked for it, I knew the problem was me, and eventually “killed” some parts of my personality that were preventing me from making connections. It was about making friends as much as it was girlfriends, in retrospect. I saw other people as either way above me or way below me, never equal (because that was scary). My life also didn’t make sense, so I had low self-confidence. I got a new and better living situation, did group exercise activities (even though I’m an introvert and it’s hard), and surrounded myself with friends, which helped immensely.
Self-esteem is a myth. You know you feel bad about yourself, but that’s not something you can work on. If you work on improving your life, one little bit at a time, you may start to find some relief.
Are you really too scared to make some mistakes and learn? Surely facing that fear is better than never making a romantic connection?
Have you ever truly worked toward a goal and not achieved it?
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Pep talk aside, here is the answer to all your questions: Flirting is the 100% natural consequence of romantic attraction. Same with physical affection. You are just way too anxious and uncomfortable to do it. Trust yourself! If you don’t do it, it means you don’t want to.
If you are both comfortable, it’s as easy as falling off a log, it’s what our bodies were made to do. It’s really too easy! The flood of hormones makes sex feel so *right* that you will do dumb things and take risks. Even you, the 25-year-old virgin, is not immune. I know you may not believe this, but it’s the truth that surprised me. Long after “losing it”, I had the realization “oh shoot, I never really wanted to make a romantic connection before”, I was just too lost.
I’m not a player and I didn’t go for notches, just ended up in the double digits from a poor dating pool. Sex is not important. If you want sex there’s plenty of girls that want to wham bam without relationship. Once you have intimacy though and lose it, it’ll be the thing you miss more than the sex itself.
Dayummm , and i be like bruh, 2024 and not even a single women saying to give OP a head for free..
My man which country you’re in???
Before anything else you need to consider how you would feel if you have sex for the first time and it’s bad. It lasts 30 seconds. And she blocks/ghosts you after. Because that is a very real possibility.
Your best bet to have sex is to go on dating sites and find a way to be honest about your situation without being weird or creepy.
Don’t put it in your bio. Talk to a woman for a while, and try to let it come up naturally. Tell her that you are a virgin and that you are insecure about it. Tell her you need to deal with that before you are able to focus on other aspects of a relationship.
Other than that she needs to feel safe with you.
As for actually making the move. You could straight up tell her you don’t know how to start, give her a chance to make a move.
If you want to be the one to make a move try cuddling on a couch with her. Put your arm around her, rub her shoulder with your thumb. Get comfortable, and then look at her. When she looks back go for the kiss. Yes, this will be scary.
Kiss slowly, just lips.
Is she kissing you back? Does it feel like she likes it?
Pull back, and look her in the eyes. This gives her a chance to pull away, or ask you to stop.
Now go back to kissing (if you’re not good at reading what she’s feeling ask first)
Now slowly move your hand down to her breasts. You don’t want to just grab them in case that’s a step too far. Kiss her neck. Is she moaning, is she still receptive?
If yes, ask her if she wants to take it to the bedroom.
I’ll let you figure out what happens next yourself.
Scared to be labeled a creep, it’s going to happen.
Even the most experienced and attractive guys get rejected 90% of the time ( because they set higher standards). It’s a numbers game and you win when you persevere through rejection without losing confidence.
If the goal is “get laid” there are so many larger girls that would drop panties for litterally anyone that showed them some sustained attention.
Watch some YouTube videos on confidence and charisma. Devote more time to working out. Bars and clubs are not good places to find hookups unless you go with groups of friends just to hang out and dance and have fun, and that is what the women will find attractive. Going to clubs to get sex partners is what looks creepy.
Damn, choosing to remain scared of something new and having to deal with the consequences of it later is my life motto
Watch the Dr. K video “Does Being A Virgin Make You More Enlighthened?”
I think about the parable of the monk and the rat everyday.
I know it’s hard man, but you just need to start putting yourself out there and face rejections. I’m 26M and have only had legit sex once. I’m just playing the numbers game man, and you should too. Can’t change the past. So pay attention to the attitude you have now and decide to do something
Get a super high class escort
30% bro if it makes u feel better
Look dude, strip clubs are really just showrooms for prostitutes. Pay for a lap dance, and she’ll either solicit you or you can solicit her and break out of the virgin mindset.
For god’s sake man, prostitution exists for people like you who want something they can’t figure out how to get without money.
Once you do that, you’ll feel better about yourself. Just don’t give them your credit card. Establish the price and service before handing over cash. Then bust as quick as you can because time is money.
Nobody can teach you how to be attractive. Just do things that make you happy. Happiness’s is attractive. So’s money but I prefer women attracted to my happiness more so than women who want financial gain. But they don’t rain from the sky when school ends.
You’re really not missing out. Most women are kinda meh in the sack anyways lol.
Your biggest issue is you’re putting the pussy on a pedestal. Best thing for you would probably be to go buy a hooker. Once you see it’s really not that big of a deal you’ll start to relax about it. Go to the gym and start building your confidence.. nothing will make a woman more dry than lack of confidence and desperation. Which you knowing the percentage stat of male virgins your age tells me you’re on the verge of using your tears as lube kind of desperate.
Get some friends who have game and ask them to take you out and show you the ropes , like a mentor.