What unrealistic dating expectations have men in their 30s encountered? Share your experiences and insights! #dating #menintheir30s #datingexpectations #relationshipadvice
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Probably the idea that if you don’t know what a woman is thinking/feeling/in the mood for then it’s a display of your lack of competence with women.
That you’re going to have a baby with them in under a year.
I feel like I’ve run into this a few times, where the woman I’m dating wants me to make every moment picture perfect. Live an Instagram lifestyle.
I just want someone to go to the grocery store with me. Give me some time to go work on my car. Enjoy the day to day stuff.
Same expectation as most employers: must have 20 years experience with only 5 years previous experience. 🤣
They want to be SAHM but don’t want to have kids. SAH-GF. LMAO.
Expecting to have all my shit together, be a supporting partner with their mental struggle and be seeing a therapist myself, pay for most outings and pick them up and drive wherever was needed for the activity and have my own place to hang out after, all while offering none of it.
I got a new job that represented at 20% raise into the low 6 figures, and my girlfriend immediately asked her friend what he made(250,000k) and told me about it, as if to complain about my new job. She later apologized and thought I was going to break up with her over it.
Make most of the money, 50/50 the domestic chores, and do 100% of the traditionally masculine housework like protection, pest control, landscaping, and DIY.
I need to simultaneously make all the decisions and also *none* of the decisions.
I have to be aggressive bordering on SA but also understand consent. But asking is a turn-off, so I just “gotta know.”
I have to be at least 6′ tall.
I need to earn enough to support our family, but also have enough time off to spend with her.
I need to be her emotional rock, but I need to show some emotion, but not too much because then I look weak.
I need to be young and healthy, like a 20 something, but stable and financially secure like a 40 something. When in reality I’m falling apart like a 60 something and financially secure like a 15y/o.
I discovered this dating in my 20s and posting ads on Craigslist. I don’t think that site allows it anymore. But us guys would make posts listing all of the things we had or had accomplished, while ladies would post what they were looking for. It felt like whenever I made a post, it was like a job application. Whereas ladies were posting things that they required for you to be in order to date them. It was very eye opening to the online dating shit show that frankly hasn’t improved at all.
Like it’s my duty to be funny and provide constant entertainment. Cue in to every little thing she might be thinking and adjust my own personality accordingly.
How often I’m supposed to text. I text like once a day…
She expected me to go down on her every time we hooked up but she refused to go down on me claiming that it is degrading for a woman to put a man’s penis in her mouth. Â
Needless to say I moved on right after that. What a hypocrite.
That for some reason I’d happily provide for them and expect nothing in return. My money is our money, their money is their money.
That I respond to texts within 15 minutes while she regularly takes hours to respond.
Take the lead and make all of the decisions but without ever telling her what to do (because that’s controlling). Include her in the decision making when she wants but not so much that she feels responsible for anything. Basically allow her to lead from behind.
I remember growing up how we were supposed to be more understanding and so on with women who were heavier, less attractive, etc. Yet as I entered my twenties, I started seeing more and more women like that who acted like they were not like that in an arrogant way, not a comfortable in their own skin way. Some would also have personal issues that most women would expect men to work on, but somehow men were supposed to put up with it all. With that and other things, so many women want to think that it makes them “quirky” or however they want to put it.
So many women who are like I mentioned self sabotage, and sometimes fumble things before the friendship stage. And they don’t think they need to work on themselves. Also it’s so strange how women talk about their dating experiences with men. Yet a lot of men get dismissed when we talk about our own, even if we ial it back and anything we think we would need to. Like we want to make things better and just open up or whatever, yet we have to swallow it all and somehow not look for support or whatever. At least if it’s not super serious stuff.
a lot of women out here expecting a performance every time they see you. i don’t mean in the bedroom
There’s no room to grow into a relationship. People want the feeling of a multi year relationship by the 5th date. Love is something that should be earned after a lot of growth and time with each other. Not something you expect after knowing somebody in a month. People keep trying to fast forward the dating stage.
Also paying for dates, it’s just a very old custom that makes sense if you only ever date 5 people in your life. But with how rapidly first dates stack up in the app age and how quickly people drop you, it’s unreasonable to expect somebody else to pay your way until you’ve established you’re both staying around for longer than a few weeks.Â
Apparently I’m supposed to be making six figures by now, and I should also have huge amounts of dating and relationship experience from my twenties…
expexted to look like a 25yo, earn like a 40yo, show emotions, but not the bad ones, be funny but serious, plan, but also be spontaneous, be honest, but not about everything
I’ve been turned down for being a gemini.
When I would agree to do something she wanted to do because she wanted to do it, even though it wasn’t for me. Such as attend church together. “I want you to want to do it”. I’m happy to do the things that make you happy, but that doesn’t mean I can rewrite my brain to enjoy the activity itself.
Idk how to phrase it but so many of the women I’m just like do you even want to date rn? Like it shouldn’t feel like a full time job for me to have to pressure and reassure you into coming out or sticking with plans.
Like it just feels like anxiety has become this cop out from being an adult and more people are like for codependency and partners in unhealthy lifestyles than partners.
And if it’s not that, than it’s the opposite extreme others have discussed of expecting the Instagram reel lifestyle without the substance.
Like im adventurous, spontaneous, love to travel, but I’m not paying 10x the price to visit a place in a poor season because you wanna be able to just hop on a plane this weekend. It’s almost like they wanna normalize sugerdaddy lifestyle and shit.
I was hooked up by a homie with a woman, she was quick to get into money talks. Girl thought that 6 figures was easy and laughed at my broke ass. I’m an electrician, I am happy at 75k, got my own place and own all my stuff. But Jesus Christ that was reinforcing on the “women only care about money” stereotype. I have talked with that homie less since.
I think many women have unrealistic expectations… and i don’t just mean hot, funny, fit, financially stable. I mean… fit, but don’t go to them gym. Have money and ambition, but don’t work so much. Be sensitive and caring, but don’t get upset about anything. Be smart and intelligent and renaissance-esq, but also know how to build a home and fix a car. Be friendly and outgoing, but don’t spend too much time with your friends.
Sorry ladies… the perfect man does not exist.
No longer dating, but when I was, I noticed this trend a lot.
If she has a job, an apartment, and pays bills, she is a strong and independent woman.
If I had a job, an apartment, and paid my bills, I am doing the bare minimum.
Man why do I read these threads it’s just so fucking miserable.
I am at a healthy weight, work out, own my own business, I am 6′, I put in the maximum effort to look good. My only two matches on Hinge were from obese women who put no effort in themselves, one didn’t even bother with a clean shirt, that cried about having to lower their standards to match with me,
i don’t know what standards they set but apparently I am not falling in.
I dated a few women that were VERY concerned about dividing the chores 50/50
To them that meant I did 50% of the things they did like cooking and laundry while also doing 100% of the home maintenance, computer repairs, shoveling, etc while receiving 0 credit for anything she did not touch.
I once dated a woman that demanded I pick one of her bills and start paying it, pay for her to go back to college, pay for her to get a tummy tuck, and bring her fresh flowers every weekend. I told her no, she said I should do those things because I was getting all three holes. I said no I shouldn’t. she then demanded I call my mom so she could tell her that she gives me all three holes without me giving into her demands. I said why would I tell my mom that? and she said your mom needs to know how messed up you are….