#GettingLaid #AttractingWomen #DatingAdvice #SexLife #Relationships
🤔 What’s the difference between guys who get laid and guys who don’t? 🤷♂️
It’s a question that has likely crossed the minds of many men at some point in their lives. Some men seem to have no trouble attracting women and maintaining a healthy sex life, while others struggle to even get a date. So, what sets these two groups of men apart? Let’s break it down and explore some possible factors that could contribute to the difference in outcomes.
The Confidence Factor
One of the key differences between men who have a thriving sex life and those who don’t may come down to confidence. Confidence is attractive, and women are often drawn to men who exude self-assurance and a sense of purpose. If you lack confidence in yourself, it can be challenging to attract and keep the attention of potential partners.
🔹 Ways to boost your confidence:
– Practice positive self-talk
– Set and achieve personal goals
– Focus on your strengths and accomplishments
– Take care of your physical appearance
– Seek professional help if needed
The Importance of Social Skills
Having strong social skills can play a significant role in a man’s ability to attract women. Men who are outgoing, charismatic, and able to engage in meaningful conversations tend to have an easier time forming connections and building rapport with potential partners. If you struggle in social settings or find it difficult to connect with others, it may impact your dating and sex life.
🔹 Tips for improving your social skills:
– Practice active listening
– Ask open-ended questions to encourage conversation
– Pay attention to body language and nonverbal cues
– Join clubs or groups to meet new people
– Work on developing empathy and understanding others’ perspectives
Embracing Personal Growth
Men who continuously invest in their personal growth and development often enjoy more success in their dating lives. This can involve working on areas such as emotional intelligence, communication skills, and self-awareness. By becoming a well-rounded and emotionally mature individual, you may find it easier to navigate the complexities of relationships and attraction.
🔹 Areas for personal growth:
– Emotional regulation and self-control
– Conflict resolution and problem-solving skills
– Developing a growth mindset
– Building resilience and coping with setbacks
– Seeking feedback and being open to constructive criticism
Understanding the Importance of Authenticity
Being authentic and true to yourself is crucial when it comes to attracting women. Trying to be someone you’re not or putting on a facade in an attempt to impress others can backfire. Authenticity is attractive, and women are more likely to be drawn to men who are genuine, honest, and unafraid to show their true selves.
🔹 Ways to embrace authenticity:
– Reflect on your values and beliefs
– Embrace your quirks and unique qualities
– Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share your thoughts
– Avoid pretending to be someone you’re not
– Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are
Patterns in Past Experiences
It’s essential to consider the role that past experiences and patterns may play in a man’s dating and sex life. Trauma, rejection, or negative experiences in relationships can impact your confidence and sense of self-worth. Understanding how past events may be influencing your current behavior and mindset is crucial for growth and improvement.
🔹 Steps to address past experiences:
– Seek therapy or counseling to process past trauma
– Engage in self-reflection and introspection
– Challenge negative beliefs and thought patterns
– Practice self-compassion and forgiveness
– Set healthy boundaries in future relationships
In conclusion, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to the question of why some men seem to have an easier time attracting women and getting laid than others. It’s likely a combination of various factors, including confidence, social skills, personal growth, authenticity, and past experiences. By addressing these areas and seeking to improve yourself, you may increase your chances of success in your dating and sex life.
Ultimately, it’s essential to remember that every person’s journey is unique, and there is no shame in seeking support and guidance to navigate the complexities of relationships and attraction. Remember to be patient with yourself and stay committed to your growth and improvement. With time and effort, you may find yourself on a path to greater success in this aspect of your life. Stay positive, and keep learning and growing. Good luck!
Personality. Luck. Preferences. Libido. Location. Circumstances. And so on.
Confidence
The amount of sex they have
I don’t think it boils down to a single trait. First of all we aren’t all on a level playing field regarding looks. An ability to make a move in a smooth, nonthreatening way is a factor sometimes. Some that are very successful have con-man, salesman like attributes. Some have a genuine interest in partners, at least in the moment.
Getting out and making lots of contacts helps. I’ve known many men and women who complain they never meet anybody, but also spend all their time at home.
Lots of factors. Some are fairly common, some particular to an individual.
if she finds you physically attractive. just because you’d have sex with someone doesn’t mean they feel the same way. also confidence can be a big deal/ can be super attractive
Being an extrovert makes is a thousand times easier to meet women and form a connection than it is for an introvert. Add to the mix a broad range of mainstream interests to bond over and an ability to read a person’s body language and you’re in like Flinn.
It has nothing to do with money I was most sexually active when I was young and broke. I would say the top thing that women tell me is that “Men don’t approach because they don’t think they have a chance” seriously take the chance you have nothing lose everything to gain. That moves us onto the next point be confident know what you are looking for.
In sales there’s a concept called asking for the sale. If you don’t ask you don’t get. Often these guys are just confident enough or oblivious enough to ask.
are we taking consideration the fact that not all men want to shove their dicks in every hole they see , or only the men who try yet fail
Not afraid of “no”. Getting your courage up for 9 months to ask a girl you like out versus asking a girl out every time you see one that you could possibly gel with.
Obviously other reasons besides that one. Also what that does is make you more confident. That shows and you’ll attract more girls to you without needing to try to always be the initiator.
>Some men have an abundant sex life starting as early as 18
I think this is very conservative. I very much remember people in my class openly discussing how much sex they were having when we were 14 and 15. I think a natural confidence and complete lack of fear of rejection has a lot to do with it.
Location and putting effort into it.
Actual conversation with a good looking friend that couldn’t get a GF.
Did you tell her you think she is beautiful? Him no, she would think I am hiting on her and want to sleep with her. Me: you are hitting on her and want to sleep with her. Sure you want more than that and like to be around her. But you need to make it a romantic relationship if you want one.
Just from my experience over 25 years ago (got married). When I was genuinely interested in others and not trying to prove myself I had a lot more luck.
Winning the genetic lottery and being physically desirable. Not being socially awkward, actually wanting to go be social.
If there is one difference, it would be their ability to make the other party feel good and safe around them.
From reading many experiences on this sub and on external articles, people are more than willing to actually initiate the sex (at least the hints) if the guy just makes them feel comfortable in their own skin.
Feeling protected and validated is their main turn on because they don’t need to have their guard up.
Let’s look at celebs. We always see comedians who aren’t exactly Brad Pitt or DiCaprio levels of looks get pretty girls. How? Being funny isn’t just about making the other party laugh; it’s also a way to “disarm” them.
It’s easier to ask someone to get naked if they don’t feel the need to be clothed around you, right?
Ability to read body language to understand who is interested and who is not. Don’t invest time trying to get with women who aren’t interested.
I am not good looking and I’ve always done fine with women. I fully believe that if you take care of your meat suit, no matter what it looks like and you have a good personality and can make women laugh, you’ll be fine.
The truth is looks and height are the most important superficial things. You can get a lot of women if you’re tall, good looking and not a douche. Shit, tall, attractive men get women even if they are a douche lol. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible for guys like me, (short, and mid looking) can’t get women though. Just have a good personality, confidence, a good social life, and your own hobbies, goals and ambitions.
Personality, how they carry themselves/how personable they are, how they choose to communicate/act, willingness to accept “this approach isn’t working, maybe I need to do something different” (rather than “this is fucking hopeless because women are all just sluts for ‘chads’!” And other incel bullshit)
The biggest difference is charisma. Even if it’s shallow or insincere, women tend to be attracted to and respond well to charisma.
Charisma is the male equivalent of being normal weight.
The main difference between men to score and those that don’t?
1. Game aka charisma. It’s an innate quality for the most part.
2. Looks. A close second. Good looking men don’t have to struggle nearly as hard to meet women- in fact, women will often make the contact themselves, or even sometimes send another person to see if you’re single and/or interested.
3. Communication skills. Not just being a good conversationalist, but the ability of communicating on the level with whom you’re communicating with. Common ground; empathy.
4. Financial success. It often serves as a proxy for looks. Honestly, a distant quality behind the first three.
Now there’s also lesser qualities, like dressing nice, smelling nice, being nice, so on and so forth. But in my estimation these are ancillary qualities, not stand alones.
Source: I had a very successful “sexual career” starting at 15 (women only).
I’d say it’s simple. Go out after chatting with someone somewhere for a while (a few days). Say hey you wanna grab a drink . If they say yes they might be interested if not you move on. Go there dress decent and shower and be nice. Have a few drinks and then if you feel like it ask if they wanna go to your place or whatever. Treat everyone nicely and it’s done
Effort. You can have everything thing going for you, but if you don’t make the effort to close the deal a lot of the time it isn’t going to happen.
I remember back in college I was at the end of my Freshman year and I was at this house party and this guy that was like a 6th year senior cam up and sat down beside me at the back of the room and asked what I thought of his party. I said it was great, but a bit of a sausage fest. He stood up and looked around and then said, I just see a bunch of hot chicks. He then asked me to point out the 3 hottest. I did and then he said “Go try and pick them up or get the fuck out of my party.” I tried and failed. He then asked for the next 3. Turns out the 5th hottest girl at party was game.
After that I realized, the worst they will say is no if you are nice about it, and if at first you don’t succeed, maybe by #5 you will.
And that is the difference between standing at the back being an incel and taking someone home… Effort.
I mean, there’s a couple parts to it, at least; if anyone tells you it’s *one* thing, they’ve been lucky, or are full of shit. Some bits to mind?
Something to be confident about, but it doesn’t much matter what. Also? Confidence about that, but not false confidence. If you lack confidence about everything, yeah, no.
Opportunity; you’d have to know someone or meet someone who might say yes. And not just *one* person, but a variety of people over time. If you’re pining over one specific person, and that’s The Person, your odds are already pretty darn bad, as the odds of picking one person and that being The Person For You and You Being The Person For Them is real low. You might get one shot a week or one shot a month, but if you set yourself up for one shot ever… yeah, that’s not great.
Asking. And asking in such a way that it’s inoffensive, that a “no” answer isn’t awful or awkward, and a “yes” answer is a very low probability of embarrassment. “Do you want to fuck” is going to fail, but “hey, any odds you’d be up for netflix and chill later” or “you want to get outta here, maybe split a bottle of wine at my place”…. still low odds, but some.
Finally, honestly, also, a reputation for this. If one girl you used to date or otherwise hang out with says to some of her friends “ooh, that guy? That guy was fun.” your odds, they go up, without you always knowing why.
There’s certainly more, but yeah, it’s also all learnable as long as you figure “hunh, I probably have something I can improve here”.
Every guy I know who never gets laid haa one thing in common; lack of confidence. Their anxiety and timidity sabotage their efforts every time. For some reason, that characteristic is usually accompanied by weird beliefs about chivalry, based on their misguided notion of what women want. These guys can never get out of their own way, and are subsequently left bitter and confused.
Crazy as it seems today. I (M) lost my virginity at 14 to a 12 year old (F).
Granted this was the mid 90’s when us small town kids ran the streets with no parental supervision. The girl told her mom and her mom put her on birth control. The mom let me stay over night on the weekends at their house and rail her daughter on the reg.
At 14 I thought she had the coolest mom ever. Now as an adult that has had a daughter, I wonder wtf was wrong with her.
A helpful hint is learn to read a woman signals better. My mother and sisters would tell me about how a waitress or cashier girls was trying to flirt with me and I was oblivious too it. Apparently the cashier or waitress touching your hand when giving you change was a hint lol. But going after girls who drop hints in interest are better walking through a unlock door is easier than tearing a wall down.
If you don’t know if a girl is hinting or not error on the side of going for it. If you get rejected don’t take it personally
One is laid back, extroverted and can let loose. The other often isn’t. They usually overthink so much that they come across as rigid and awkward. Some of them are so cranky because they never get laid that their attitude goes sour. You can usually easily tell who is that far gone, lol.
Judging from this post, you overthink a lot. Just have some fun and learn to relax.
Alot people are saying looks which is fair
But also if you are in an environment where sex is casaul you are going to get laid regardless of looks. I know a few people who were in “friend groups” that just went in circles fucking and went to parties and they werent exactly good looking.
Sometimes it is just purely chance